Kids: Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish...

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 16:48 - United States

Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish over the webcam lens on my laptop because "It wasn't all black, so I decided to fix it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 909

You deserved it 6 013

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Same thing different taste

By Sadmom - 17/09/2009 23:58 - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 617

You deserved it 5 356

By Anonymous - 26/05/2019 17:15

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 136

By confusedphotographer - 19/04/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 865

You deserved it 64 208

By BeatenUpPup - 18/05/2009 12:22 - Canada

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 211

You deserved it 5 799

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:45 - Norway

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 955

You deserved it 7 529

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 5 374

By GidleyWife - 30/07/2015 17:22 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 372

You deserved it 2 407

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 300

There you go

By Anonymous - 04/07/2018 01:30

Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 933

You deserved it 1 579

Great start

By whytoday - 14/05/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 463

You deserved it 8 356

inthemillions 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 22:22

Uhm. Nail polish remover?

AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12

Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:16

*simultaneously* Is it just me or is everyone thinking the sa- woah, that was weird o.o

Comments

annigotammo 1

Wednesday 6 April 2011 4:55

it's called nail polish remover... nbd.

lovelostcause 5

Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:01

nail polish remover duh

Easyaccess 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:05

oh no!!! how u gonna do ur web **** show today?......

4Lonely2Stoner0 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:10

Nail polish remover. I'm a guy and even I knew that. Booze works too.

birdfreak 24

Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:14

first, why did she have nail polish? and two, have yoy heard of nail polish REMOVER?  some people are so stupid sometimes  get some brain surgery

pappuyaer 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:20

just use nail polish remover & stop bitching about a child

Deeznutzhairy 7

Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:47

thats cute^_^

moowaffle 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 5:53

i say kill the kid by roaatin on an open flame

woody963 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:20

well shes three sholdnt polish be safely away and the expensive electronics be out of reach also

moat 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:31

A hummingbird can fly backwards.

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Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML

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Today, as someone with a large chest, I'm used to sometimes finding food in my clothes at the end of the day. However, when I took off my bra off, I found half of a dead grasshopper. FML

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You deserved it 139

Today, I was talking with a coworker about movie actors. I was trying to remember Forest Whitaker’s name and I blurted out, “the droopy-eyed King of Scotland.” Boy, did I get some looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 256

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 498

You deserved it 3 990

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 566

You deserved it 2 931

Today, my mom got a cat. I'm allergic to cats, so I politely asked my mom why she got it. Her response: "I want you to finally want to move out." I turned eighteen two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 617

You deserved it 5 035

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

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You deserved it 2 393

Same thing different taste

Primitive art

There you go

Great start

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