Kids: Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born....

By proudparent - 07/12/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 414

You deserved it 6 689

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Same thing different taste

By mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 202

You deserved it 5 052

By worldsmosthonestdad - 12/05/2017 14:00

Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 077

You deserved it 570

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 247

By Liz0352 - 08/11/2018 04:30 - United States - Bainbridge Island

Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 982

You deserved it 292

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

By Stripperofthemall - 25/08/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 222

You deserved it 2 919

By Raiders4ever - 21/10/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 379

You deserved it 24 983

But he's only 5

By Anonymous - 18/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 727

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 373

By verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 628

You deserved it 2 728

Luckster 0

Monday 7 December 2009 12:22

...........I completely fail to see how this makes your life ******....

KrystleLynn 0

Monday 7 December 2009 12:38

...I don't see why this is an fml or why the teacher called you.

Comments

Suburbia 0

Friday 11 December 2009 5:39

Wow FYL for thinking this an FML.

insinuendo 0

Saturday 12 December 2009 20:38

Uhh so? Why would the teacher call you? I don't understand this.

Treehugger 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 0:17

that isn't an FML. that's a cute memory you can tell your son when he's much older. It's adorable.

SinkingSun73 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 5:56

I thought that was hilarious. :)

tedwin223 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 20:27

win

actress5698 1

Monday 4 January 2010 2:51

how is this an fml.

cantholditin 2

Friday 5 March 2010 6:58

#91...seahorse, used as a pun for sea *****. That's my understanding anyways.

ghost010 6

Saturday 20 March 2010 15:23

Why don't you tell him what it's really called, not the short form? Caesarean section.

hassenpfeffermmm 0

Thursday 29 April 2010 20:53

You have to explain everything in detail to children. You really lost touch with your inner child. Remember the curiousity and ignorance of youth. I bet your kid is dumb as rocks because you won't teach him anything!