Kids: Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born....

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By proudparent - 07/12/2009 05:07 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 421

You deserved it 6 691

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Same thing different taste

By mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 209

You deserved it 5 056

By worldsmosthonestdad - 12/05/2017 14:00

Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 084

You deserved it 572

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 056

You deserved it 253

By Liz0352 - 08/11/2018 04:30 - United States - Bainbridge Island

Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 987

You deserved it 294

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 160

You deserved it 3 196

By Stripperofthemall - 25/08/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 228

You deserved it 2 919

By Raiders4ever - 21/10/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 387

You deserved it 24 985

But he's only 5

By Anonymous - 18/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 734

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 594

You deserved it 4 374

By verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 640

You deserved it 2 729

Luckster 0

Monday 7 December 2009 12:22

...........I completely fail to see how this makes your life ******....

KrystleLynn 0

Monday 7 December 2009 12:38

...I don't see why this is an fml or why the teacher called you.

Comments

teiso_fml 0

Monday 7 December 2009 23:25

Is this really such a big deal? It's actually kind of funny in a cute way. Not really an FML.

alexis_michelle_ 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 0:47

this is definitely more of an MLIA rather than an FML. GO MLIA!

SupaSwaggin 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 2:52

lol that's funny. not an fml though

telfie 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 6:34

Aww, that's kinda cute. Seems like a mundane thing to call you about, though.

nyc718 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 7:04

"mundane"?? What are you complaining about OP?? The fact that your kid said something cute or the fact that the teacher is way toooo sensitive?? I for one hate sensitive people.

msfantastic 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 17:29

I think the FML is that you told your 5 year old that he was essential cut out of your womb. Why would you tell a 5 year old that? The other FML part being that you actually expected him to know wtf a C-section was. I'm sure that child will wish in the future that he was actually born in the sea.

erincolleen82 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 21:36

hahaha... born at sea... When I was a kid, some girls on the playground asked me what PMS was. I interpreted it as Pregnant Men's Syndrome. hahhahaha

xxxenergy 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 23:02

How is that an FML? That is so cute! I love young children's ignorance.

AtrumMessor 1

Wednesday 9 December 2009 11:53

OP, you're a whiner. This is not FML material by any stretch. Seriously, you should hear some of the calls *my* dad used to get about things my uncles had taught their 5-year-old nephew how to say...