Kids: Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick... - FML

By fionnathehuman - 09/10/2012 22:56 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 3 855

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's the window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 769

You deserved it 9 581

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 181

You deserved it 6 158

Vengeance is mine

By shitty neighbor - 25/07/2021 10:01 - United States

Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 484

Child's play

By Misbah Akhtar - 21/11/2020 12:59 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 377

By assassinmaster - 04/05/2017 04:00

Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 919

You deserved it 438

Childfree confirmation ceremony

By Kathya Wilson - 01/08/2022 10:00

Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 309

By will - 14/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 217

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 379

By sayroshi - 30/06/2016 18:29 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 405

You deserved it 1 334

When you gotta go…

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, my youngest son, for the third time, decided that the toilet is not where he wants to go to the bathroom. This wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't also squatting in the yard to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 212

Next

Top comments

AholeCop 11

Wednesday 10 October 2012 8:47

Catapoop? Trebushit?......sorry

foshizzle82 7

Wednesday 10 October 2012 8:45

That's okay, think of it as compost.

Comments

lmbachman 23

Wednesday 10 October 2012 15:28

omg that's hilarious... I needed that this morning!!!

futbolrulz 5

Wednesday 10 October 2012 15:53

Your child has the right idea for his age, while he can still get away with it !

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Wednesday 10 October 2012 15:57

So that's how that shit got on my door.

ashers81 3

Wednesday 10 October 2012 15:59

Hahaha! That's awesome!

PrimalHunk 5

Wednesday 10 October 2012 16:10

Epic. That is all good sir. Epic.

GlobalGenocide 8

Wednesday 10 October 2012 16:46

You mean to say that's NOT how the sanitation system works? All these years...

ruthlessmofo 0

Wednesday 10 October 2012 16:55

When I was a little kid it was my chore to clean up our dogs poop. My dad taught me to throw it into our neighbors yard. This reminded me of that haha

MaryPoppins88 14

Wednesday 10 October 2012 16:58

Haha hopefully your neighbors are douchbags

Seethatguy 3

Wednesday 10 October 2012 18:12

Don't forget to rub his nose in it so he doesn't do it again.

LONERANGER44 11

Wednesday 10 October 2012 19:28

Good boy.

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 129

You deserved it 3 083

Today, after having had a sore throat all day, I finally decided to have a throat lozenge on the bus. It was nice and soothing, until the bus sharply turned a corner and I started coughing and choking on it violently like a cat with a furball. My throat now feels like Satan pissed nails down it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 94

Today, I found out that my mother-in-law thinks that Trump is the "best man to walk the earth since Jesus," and that he's "fighting the deep state who's in control of the fake news." She tried to indoctrinate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 288

You deserved it 669

Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 719

You deserved it 6 058

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 824

You deserved it 42 937

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 156

You deserved it 9 938

Today, my best friend of a decade ended our friendship, all because I wouldn't kick someone from our Dungeons and Dragons table that he disliked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 139