Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped...

By Jamie - 10/03/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 907

You deserved it 3 998

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Same thing different taste

By Eskyew - 23/07/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 769

You deserved it 9 013

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 356

You deserved it 28 340

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 158

Are you listening?

By littlemissignored - 02/09/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 826

You deserved it 7 139

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 772

You deserved it 15 178

Phoney sex

By Anonymous - 09/03/2020 08:00

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 253

You deserved it 617

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 983

You deserved it 7 876

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 05:22 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 047

You deserved it 8 604

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 517

You deserved it 10 415

Hot and heavy

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 442

You deserved it 35 591

ydi_ruuc 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:05

It's more interesting.Really.

muffinsareyummy 1

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:06

Phone sex is overrated. It's not pleasurable at all.

Comments

jktadych 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:27

epically owned lmao

ThuhBoss 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:30

I did that 'cuz I was playing with my iPhone. I don't pay attention unless it's real sex.

DGross 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:36

agreed :-)

topbanana 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:49

come on it's JUST phone sex! it's not like you guys were doing it for real

letsgobucks 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:58

who still plays tetris? ****

ImaginaryFoe 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:47

Tetris rocks. That is all.

the_boss_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:59

you 2 are the saddest sons of bitches. phone sex and tetris? get a damn life

thatoneGeo 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:00

tetris is awesome....can't blame the guy

laddiebastard 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:14

you must suck at phone sex lmao

smartman136 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:18

tetris rox

Punkartmama 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:32

Well, if you don't pay full attention to Tetris, you will lose the game. Duh!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 3 148

Today, after having had a sore throat all day, I finally decided to have a throat lozenge on the bus. It was nice and soothing, until the bus sharply turned a corner and I started coughing and choking on it violently like a cat with a furball. My throat now feels like Satan pissed nails down it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 550

You deserved it 2 203

Today, I was stuck in the ICU with my 10 month-old. They spent more than an hour and multiple pricks to get a vein for cannula. I had to endure and hold him down through all of it. Half and hour later, he promptly smeared poop all over his cannula bandage area during a diaper change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 145

Today, I was babysitting a couple of kids. I'd spent time with them before, so I brought my video game console to play with them. I forgot to take it home with me. They soon sold it to another kid for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 827

You deserved it 6 532

Today, I was messaging a girl on a dating app. Things were going well so I thought I'd ask her to meet. She had listed hiking as an interest 3 times on her profile so I suggested we meet at a state park. She told me she doesn't hike on a first meet and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 905

You deserved it 710

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 130

You deserved it 8 397

Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 660

You deserved it 896