Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny...

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By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 888

You deserved it 3 051

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Same thing different taste

By :(((( - 27/04/2011 06:54

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 221

You deserved it 7 111

Comedy gold

By Landdownunder - 05/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 339

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 006

You deserved it 10 484

By Anonymous - 17/07/2019 22:00

Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 378

You deserved it 3 578

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 993

You deserved it 13 043

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 1 470

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 598

You deserved it 7 165

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 866

You deserved it 5 096

By Jess49 - 03/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 433

You deserved it 4 849

senor_octubre 24

Tuesday 15 March 2016 17:28

Every mans dream. I mean uh....that sucks. I mean blows. I'll just go now.

firefox9778 20

Tuesday 15 March 2016 17:28

Well that's some information you could've gone without. Who knows, maybe he was hinting at something?

Comments

lizzypacker 14

Thursday 6 October 2016 4:23

Lol sounds like he's probably pretty big too

RuinedSatyr1441 5

Thursday 2 February 2017 23:27

Ever seen Scary Movie lol

Smgreene 15

Thursday 26 September 2019 0:52

Weiner? If youre old enough for the act youre old enough for the word. Dick or penis is appropriate.

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Today, I learned that my wife had an affair with another guy. She met him while we were on a trip in another state for marriage counseling. The reason we were in marriage counseling was because she had no desire for sex, and we had gone for two years without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 902

You deserved it 4 838

Today, my smoke alarm has a tendency to give false alarms. Despite this, it did not go off at all when I was genuinely overcooking food and smoke was everywhere in the house, except for the room I was in. My smoke detector is plotting against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 650

You deserved it 5 673

Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 119

You deserved it 35 157

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 774

You deserved it 2 427

Today, I got locked out of my car while the engine was idling. The "good news"? My dog inside the car thought this was the funniest thing ever and barked happily every time I tried to open it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 252

Today, I had to call AAA because not only did I lock my keys in the car, I also locked in my toddlers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 280

You deserved it 47 598

Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 971

You deserved it 781