Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny...

By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 875

You deserved it 3 049

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Same thing different taste

By :(((( - 27/04/2011 06:54

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 202

You deserved it 7 102

Comedy gold

By Landdownunder - 05/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 336

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 998

You deserved it 10 483

By Anonymous - 17/07/2019 22:00

Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 372

You deserved it 3 576

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 980

You deserved it 13 039

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 457

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 588

You deserved it 7 162

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 845

You deserved it 5 090

By Jess49 - 03/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 423

You deserved it 4 839

senor_octubre 24

Tuesday 15 March 2016 17:28

Every mans dream. I mean uh....that sucks. I mean blows. I'll just go now.

firefox9778 20

Tuesday 15 March 2016 17:28

Well that's some information you could've gone without. Who knows, maybe he was hinting at something?

Comments

GabbyPLluch88 13

Wednesday 16 March 2016 3:58

he was just exaggerating on how flexible he used to be. let's not assume, poor guy

militarybrat 21

Wednesday 16 March 2016 4:00

And? I dont get how this is a bad thing. But my husband purposely did it because i mentioned it would be hot.

nwwaverider 14

Wednesday 16 March 2016 7:22

How is an FML seems more like an F his mouth.. But what do I know

gatorclay97 28

Wednesday 16 March 2016 12:23

Annnnnnd?

dethouva 4

Wednesday 16 March 2016 13:18

And thats a bad thing? The hell is wrong with you. Every man thinks about this. Just drop it and accept it as a part of human kind

Metallicality 5

Thursday 17 March 2016 1:31

Technically it would be considered masturbation right?

Odannyboy 21

Thursday 17 March 2016 7:27

Impressive

LevelupKid 8

Saturday 19 March 2016 0:00

Weiner? really?

OBUDDAYJOELPUTTY 12

Thursday 5 May 2016 10:39

At least he didn't get the balls in there too and die, like the guy on Clerks.

KrazyKatz333 15

Monday 8 August 2016 11:55

How is that bad? I heard 1/200 can and 200/200 have tried

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I was going to take my boyfriend to Napa. It's my birthday and I wanted to do something big since last year my fiancée called off the wedding. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I'm "clearly not over" my ex. This makes two consecutive birthdays alone in romantic hotels I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 423

You deserved it 6 101

Today, it's been weeks since my teenage kids have walked the dog I got them; they also don’t play with it, pay it any attention, or feed it. It’s all been me, so since I never wanted it in the first place, I gave it to a friend of my mom's. My kids now think I’m the devil and my husband says I overreacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 182

You deserved it 432

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 969

You deserved it 12 665

Today, we all know how terrible those long, silent farts can be, right? Especially when they’re coming from your expensive, self-inflating air mattress, and you’re just about the farthest distance from home on a bikepacking trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 175

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 180

You deserved it 7 947

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 187

You deserved it 8 078