Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first...

By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 391

You deserved it 6 349

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Same thing different taste

Bad sex ed

By Sex ed instructor, fuck me - 18/04/2022 06:00

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 795

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 064

You deserved it 59 340

Running gag

By needsomelove - 20/10/2019 06:00 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 333

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 325

You deserved it 38 090

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 045

You deserved it 6 089

By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 513

You deserved it 11 369

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 276

You deserved it 6 969

Bad start

By fuck but no fuck - 02/08/2013 19:44 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 140

You deserved it 28 446

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 520

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

epoh_fml 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 12:10

aw it sucks but you're doing him a great deed. My brother is a 31 year old virgin (I am 85% sure of this). SOMEONE has to help those poor guys out!

jf7609 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 12:21

which hole? this guy hasn't seen any ****?

Comments

Jrook 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 14:28

I still don't understand how you can snap your balls in the process of putting a condom on...

perdix 29

Thursday 21 January 2010 14:41

Ignorance is curable. Stupidity is not. You've got this guy you really like, but he doesn't know what he is doing? You can teach him! You should have put on the condom for him. You should also consider yourself lucky that you have a guy who is willing to stick it anywhere. If you are a chick who likes anal, wouldn't it be frustrating to date a guy who wouldn't give you backdoor service? If you had a better attitude, this wouldn't be an FML, it would be an FMA.

Hanban 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 14:53

Agreed. And the OP should make sure that he gets his first time special. XD

x0aka0x 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 14:48

he's probably just being polite band asked if you wanted anal

Rota 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 15:09

Why is this an fml? You can show him exactly how you want to be pleasured now. Women are so ******* stupid to bitch about this stuff.

JasJR23 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 15:25

hahahaha it reminds me of the movie 40 year old virgin wen he broke like 20 condoms tryin to put one on... tell me u seen that movie....

nathat 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 15:40

FHL

melmcr 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 15:43

umm. break up much?

fmlpostthing 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 15:45

this guys probably nervous enough. try not to **** him up too much more by acting like he's a moron (which he kind of is for not making sure he's ready for when this finally happens)