Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like...

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 231

You deserved it 39 338

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Same thing different taste

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 53 765

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 093

You deserved it 5 623

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 910

You deserved it 18 538

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 656

You deserved it 9 534

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 310

You deserved it 2 763

Great idea

By anonymous - 22/03/2012 04:46 - United States - Chelsea

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 902

You deserved it 6 943

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 934

You deserved it 23 799

By lorrilanee - 20/11/2010 06:20 - Australia

Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 194

You deserved it 5 087

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 443

You deserved it 6 706

By Anonymous - 19/06/2012 03:33 - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 423

You deserved it 4 625

xxElle 0

Monday 18 October 2010 12:06

at least he added "deliciousness"...?

TheWhiteDemon 0

Monday 18 October 2010 12:05

...and? what is he supposed to say thar it was like "eating at a buffet"?

Comments

welcomtomyiland 3

Friday 8 November 2013 2:16

Maybe you should consider shaving it

Mlsmith173 3

Sunday 17 November 2013 6:57

welcome to the jungle baby.

howtobestupid 16

Saturday 19 July 2014 22:51

Dead god. Guys girls please... Shave your shit!

ballkrusher14 8

Wednesday 23 July 2014 16:29

Someone needs to shave

hurley12 30

Saturday 10 January 2015 9:22

Sounds like a compliment to me

Zaayuro 9

Sunday 7 June 2015 10:03

Lol made my day

daemonsparta 16

Saturday 1 August 2015 22:14

he did deliciousness. .. if your problem is the fur then shave

westcody 8

Thursday 1 October 2015 12:42

Dollar shave club isn't just for men you know.

bonermonkey 31

Tuesday 17 November 2015 21:33

if you're uncomfortable with it then shave, but it sounds like he is comfortable and there is no reason for you to not feel comfortable either :)

kk718 2

Thursday 14 April 2016 16:03

Sounds like you just need to shave and there would be no problem

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The Top

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 184

Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years, and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 324

You deserved it 2 005

The Top

Today, I went to see Star Wars with my brother. The entire time he talked about how scientifically inaccurate and improbable the entire movie was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 386

You deserved it 3 180

Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 2 055

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 063

You deserved it 1 664

Today, I called a possible employer I had an interview with about a week ago to see if I had got the job that I have already been trained for. Her response? "Are you sure I interviewed you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 548

You deserved it 3 045

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 857

You deserved it 1 042

Today, my rabidly pro-life friend has been touting off about, “My body, my choice” because of the proposed vaccine mandates. When I reminded her that she’s always been against women making choices about their bodies, she screamed I was a murdering, commie bitch. Thanks, friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 371