By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks 56 353
You deserved it 8 189
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Top comments

graceinsheepwear 33

Dick move.

324 3

Comments

AlaskanG 27

As weird as that is, is 20 miles really that far for you?

179 1
mageepaigeee44 15

Yea I don't understand why OP felt the need to include that.. That's not that much

44 0
Unluckymeow 9

20 miles can be far to someone depending on what car they have. I have an old jeep that only gets 15 mpg, and gas where I live is now $4.03. So driving 20 miles there and then 20 miles back would probably make me cringe a little.

21 3
Shadowsofthedead 10

I didn't want to be the person to say it, but this was my first thought when I read the fml. I drive about 20 miles to and from school every day. But the whole no intimacy thing sucks.

19 2
The_Big_Boss 20

$11 makes you cringe?

9 6
martin998877 12

Gas where I live in the uk is 9.5 US $ per gallon. If it was $4 here I'd have a V8!!

21 4
valalvax 13

Yea I thought so too, then I thought maybe they live in a big city and 20 miles is like a 2 hour drive

8 1
wannabesinger 16

I drive double that just to get to work every day. I found that odd, too.

8 0
Unluckymeow 9

#60, yes $11 makes me cringe because I'm a college student paying $30 a week for gas. I drive between 2 campuses and home. I don't usually have the luxury to drive somewhere I want to go to that's 20 miles away.

3 1
daminantion 14

You have a damned car.. If gas prices are scary to you, get out and buy a bus pass.

1 2
Pleonasm 35

So that's why they call it a Pin Code.

56 2
toxic_walrus 15

Oh boy. This is why touchscreens are a dangerous idea :P

6 13
toxic_walrus 15

Or I suppose the fingerprinting. Since you specified it was a 5s.

14 4
Raidriar 14

Yes. Touch ID and similar fingerprinting technology is highly dangerous because OP's boyfriend uses it for his dick. It should be illegal and all fingerprint-related technology immediately destroyed to protect society.

7 3
toxic_walrus 15

I was clearly just making a joke, I didn't mean they were legitimately dangerous. Chill.

6 4
blogan93 3

with fingerprint scanner?

4 2
pandalover69 26

Is 20 miles really so far for you that you had mention it? That's really nothing. I get why you're upset though, the penis thing is special.

26 1
igive 29

That's what I thought. I drive further than that to work. Perspective I guess.

13 1
Saintdyn 9

Some people just live in this bubble they never really need to leave... A lot of my family lives with 10 miles of each other and anything farther than that is like "soo far"

3 0
Goblin182 26

Did you show him your touchscreen, tell him he could unlock it the same way?

11 1
SMHsohard 22

It's a funny FML, no argument there, but the Nurse in me kept wondering, "Does he have Handi-Wipes in his pocket?"

3 0
worldclassrager 39

It's something right? Maybe next time things can pick up

1 5
Baucis 10

Get a tattoo of an iPhone around your Special place and get him to try and unlock it.

13 4
tj4234 35

No, that's too far. Just make a move next time op.

7 1
RedPillSucks 31

Not a tatoo. Just shave her pubes into a silhouette of an iPhone.

8 0
ckyorelse 18

a box for her box?

7 0