Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest...

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By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 364

You deserved it 8 191

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Same thing different taste

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 399

You deserved it 5 249

By Skullie - 19/02/2012 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 844

You deserved it 4 970

TMI, dude

By linren - 28/03/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 331

You deserved it 7 652

By Anonymous - 04/11/2009 21:42 - United States

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 658

You deserved it 8 170

Nice try

By bonzo - 22/06/2015 14:41 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 976

You deserved it 2 713

Needs

By Short end of the stick - 18/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend announced he’s sleeping with someone else and he can’t take the distance anymore. I literally drive 12 hours to see him every weekend. I just took a week off to spend time up there with him. So basically he can’t go 5 regular days of the week without sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 176

Quickie

By wasntworththedrive - 20/01/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 753

You deserved it 4 930

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 890

You deserved it 6 020

Is that it?

By Better not - 24/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Kenai

Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 305

You deserved it 2 401

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he "couldn't handle the distance." He said he "couldn't commit to driving to see me long term." We live two hours apart, and I've driven to him every time; he never tried to come to me once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 153

graceinsheepwear 33

Monday 21 April 2014 16:20

Dick move.

Nmaredia 4

Monday 21 April 2014 16:18

At least you saw some action

Comments

jessiejamesp 11

Monday 24 November 2014 7:10

Very classy lol

kateyjean 4

Sunday 4 January 2015 2:37

He's ur bf! I u wanna have sex, marry him!

TanJew 10

Wednesday 28 January 2015 22:32

That's so *******. Cool, what's the problem? XD

bassfisher100 23

Tuesday 3 November 2015 0:41

god forbid he drive 20 miles..

Nubsche 18

Tuesday 8 December 2015 11:52

I drive 800 miles to my gf every 6 weeks, 20 is nothing!

jackjona 5

Saturday 3 September 2016 0:55

It's 20 miles it's not a far drive I've dated people an hour away and why does there have to be action? Ydi

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Today, I told my family that I'm on probation at work. I help my family out financially, working in a field that they pressured me to pursue. Because they are aggressive, they asked if it was because I fought with someone at work. I told them it was because my boss says I'm too soft. Their response? "He's right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 183

Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 418

The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after she found a disgusting and perverted porn site on my internet history. What was this site? Reddit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 177

Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 174

You deserved it 2 781

Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 90

Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 213

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 813

You deserved it 18 243

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 875

You deserved it 7 345