Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair... - FML

By aireeahna - 12/02/2014 19:43 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 005

You deserved it 14 431

aireeahna tells us more.

aireeahna 23

Sunday 23 March 2014 20:05

i didnt have an account at the time this was posted but anyway..we were rough housing and he was sorry afterwards. I have a lose jaw from a prior accident so it pops out of place fairly easy so it wasnt a big deal. We didnt break up for those of you who suggested that we should have..everything is fine now thanks

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

etoilenuit 15

Wednesday 12 February 2014 23:41

Why would he be worried about his swim team finding out hes getting his willy wet? This sounds kind of fishy and makes me wonder if there's another girl he's worried about..

beaverteaser 16

Wednesday 12 February 2014 23:40

and now no more blow jobs

Comments

xenrix 1

Monday 5 May 2014 9:53

He's 1. gay or 2. got another girl

satanismyruler 7

Saturday 12 July 2014 20:47

2 words. Douche and Bag

Ramisme 12

Saturday 21 May 2016 18:40

all these comments blaming and/or being upset with the boyfriend don't make sense. you should've respected his wishes. if he had to use enough force to dislocate your jaw, that's on you for being an inconsiderate ass wipe.

Keywords

Cars Poopoo peepee Transportation Awkward Health Dentist Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Job interview Clothes Work Miscellaneous Weird Holidays Family Vacation AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Ironic Food Money

The Top

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 380

You deserved it 13 608

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss's new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off." She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 4 406

The Top

Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people's names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 045

You deserved it 3 928

Today, the man I love and who loves me ended our relationship. Why? Because I want to work 3 days a week, which wouldn’t conform to the traditional gender roles he envisions his future wife having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 220

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 542

You deserved it 53 181

Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 150

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 339

You deserved it 3 927

Today, the guy who sexually assaulted me when I was a child is over to have coffee with my mother. She says that it's OK, because God wouldn't want her to turn away someone who has no family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 162

You deserved it 154