Love: Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger...

By anonymous - 23/01/2016 01:56 - United States - Indiana

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 478

You deserved it 2 905

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 540

You deserved it 6 364

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 993

You deserved it 5 285

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 15:00

Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 148

You deserved it 589

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 404

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 368

You deserved it 4 455

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 89 325

By HaleyIsabelle - 08/03/2010 20:54 - France

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 3 712

Picky picky

By booger - 18/07/2013 07:41 - United States - Plano

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted, "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 755

You deserved it 15 039

By Anonymous - 17/07/2019 22:00

Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 294

By Sybille - 06/12/2008 12:14 - France

Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 517

You deserved it 4 064

jebron 13

Saturday 23 January 2016 19:57

Ah, kindergarten relationship problems

MetallicSkeleton 12

Saturday 23 January 2016 19:49

That was snot very expected

Comments

vintageart1994 16

Monday 25 January 2016 1:08

I would be so disgusted by that

khaledxz150 7

Monday 25 January 2016 2:35

This so me

SuckMyStrider 13

Tuesday 26 January 2016 1:09

You do not understand how unbelievably hilarious this is. Kudos to him for that.

Vlen_fml 20

Tuesday 26 January 2016 4:58

yeah... don't let him actually plant his "seed", that needs to be skimmed out of the gene pool.

toasted1 13

Tuesday 26 January 2016 10:58

that's why you should have been wearing the all new 'Lee press-on nose condom'

bumnugget 3

Wednesday 27 January 2016 5:45

Thats cute. You think he'll propose with an onion ring?

EthanMcNash 6

Tuesday 16 February 2016 4:43

That's your fault for dating a creep

potatoesforlife 9

Friday 26 February 2016 12:51

How romantic

tie_luvs_u 5

Monday 20 June 2016 20:41

reminds me of my ex boyfriend

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 127

Today, for my husband's birthday next weekend, I booked a holiday which he was happy about… until I told him it was a surprise family holiday so I'd invited his kids and their families. Now he doesn’t want to go and has made up a fake work emergency. He’s a bus driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 1 242

The Top

Today, my mom dragged me along with her to a baby shower. I was the only guy there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 601

You deserved it 615

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 932

You deserved it 7 849

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 571

Today, my mother beamingly asked for my opinion on her wedding dress. She is engaged to her cousin. Conveniently, they already have the same last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 164

You deserved it 320

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 431

You deserved it 4 852

Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 989

You deserved it 47 634

Same thing different taste

Picky picky

Top comments

Comments