Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris...

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 15:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 694

You deserved it 12 994

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Same thing different taste

Not going so well, is it?

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 07:54 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 150

You deserved it 10 103

Nearly there

By baby_trex_arms - 05/05/2015 15:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 468

You deserved it 5 735

By Oops - 26/09/2011 15:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 952

You deserved it 7 844

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 432

By BustedEgo - 23/03/2014 05:31 - United States - Norway

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 815

You deserved it 7 326

By geewhy - 26/12/2012 21:20 - United States - South Park

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 709

You deserved it 5 440

Dick appointment

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 21:01 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 290

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 21:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 850

You deserved it 16 533

By Anonymous - 28/11/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 633

You deserved it 6 737

By Hannah - 13/06/2013 16:19 - Australia - Caulfield North

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 365

You deserved it 6 069

steve247 2

Tuesday 27 September 2011 19:01

Try circling it with a sharpie?

orgasm_blush 4

Tuesday 27 September 2011 19:01

Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.

Comments

MySinfulSorrow 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:19

You need to chill the hell out. At very least he is trying, so I don't see how this is fml worthy.

kareltje 17

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:23

He should watch some Californication :D

lonewolf5755 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:26

hold his head still and move your hips. you can control more than you evidently know. next you'll be bitching that he can't find your g spot.

swinglifeaway123 8

Monday 3 October 2011 6:29

Honest to god question!!!; Where the **** IS that damn thing????

ikickgingers 15

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:29

Your caps makes me think you yell. You don't yell when you want something. You make nice-nice. You want good boom boom start being more appreciate of what he's doing and give him positive feed back instead of being a ****. Or wait until you hit 16 and try again.

ProhibitionRose 14

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:37

GPS might work better.

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:41

If he is a gamer then yes, a compass and map might help.. you could always turn it into a quest. ;-) You head north.. You encounter AROUSED ********. Fight, flee, flick or lick?

uj_fml 4

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:43

I didn't know fml had a personal shout out service.

niamah 11

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:45

Pressure to perform can lead to temporary loss of navigational ability

MyF_ckingLuck 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:46

you sound like a rude bitch, why are you being so mean to him about it? I bet if he yelled at you to do oral you wouldn't be so willing to learn. you sound too young for sex, keep your clothes on hooch

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:48

I wouldn't let him anywhere near that region with a compass. He doesn't need to draw any circles down there (at least not geometrically perfect ones), and that sharp point can be dangerous!