Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves... - FML

By _kristaaxo - 21/11/2016 09:24 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 374

You deserved it 1 547

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Backwards ass logic

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 06:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 232

Goldfinger

By Anonymous - 24/07/2020 02:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 188

By Anonymous - 25/06/2014 23:38 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 992

You deserved it 5 897

Justify My Love

By carrie - 09/05/2021 14:00

Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 120

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 3 828

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 7 039

By Anonymous - 30/01/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Dukinfield

Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 301

You deserved it 2 136

Skidmarks

By DontTrustAFart - 14/12/2024 05:00 - United States - Fort Dodge

Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 68

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 15:23 - United States - Bellefontaine

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 533

You deserved it 4 242

Gonna need that channel name

By alyssac11 - 25/05/2010 04:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 619

You deserved it 4 263

Next

Top comments

LyricaSilvan 29

Sunday 27 November 2016 5:02

Haven't you heard? Women don't have bodily functions. We aren't physically capable of being gross or imperfect.

rustybucket 24

Sunday 27 November 2016 5:10

Ignorance really is bliss. I had a male friend who truly believed that women only peed and didn't poop because "that's gross and girls can't be gross." Sorry about your moronic boyfriend!

Comments

da_epic_failman 7

Friday 2 December 2016 15:03

But would he enjoy just watching a gay blow-job?

itssounclear 0

Saturday 3 December 2016 20:38

i think it comes down to personal preference but he is acting retarded.

1203Robert 0

Sunday 4 December 2016 1:05

Q: How do you get a **** to screw a woman? A: Shit in her ****.

831curmudgeon 7

Monday 5 December 2016 21:40

Just a hunch, but I suspect your boyfriend was a moron long before this latest turn. The real question that gets raised is what does it say about you that he is still your boyfriend?

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Social Media Love Am I overreacting? Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 365

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 163

The Top

Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 771

You deserved it 3 701

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 659

You deserved it 76 928

Today, I realized my cat responds to and interacts with me when I talk to her more than my own parents do when I talk to them. Actually, that statement applies to pretty much everyone I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 96

Today, I realised the biggest FML this year was getting into online debates with people about Covid not being a hoax. One guy even said it was over, while I knew the numbers were climbing back up as I work in health-care, and I was sat on a toilet with diarrhea because I have Covid myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 249

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 195

You deserved it 5 507

Today, I went down to my congresscritter's office to deliver some paperwork. Somehow, I'd forgotten the pocketknife I kept on me for hiking, from four years ago, back when I could walk consistently. The security guards were kind enough not to laugh at me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 206