Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it...

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 940

You deserved it 6 692

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Same thing different taste

Boing

By lily - 18/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was about to kiss my boyfriend in a courtyard when a soccer ball hit me in the head, hard. My boyfriend remarked that it made a "hollow sound" when it hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 193

By bruised - 19/05/2016 20:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 315

You deserved it 1 239

The name of that old man?

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 191

You deserved it 5 579

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 420

You deserved it 4 472

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 4 185

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 105

You deserved it 3 325

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 169

You deserved it 2 927

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 981

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 278

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 591

ManBearP1g 0

Monday 21 March 2011 8:37

Take a tennis racquet and whack him and say deuce.

sweet_candy_ 17

Monday 21 March 2011 9:00

Kick his balls and then say GOAAAAAAL.

Comments

brookezee 2

Tuesday 22 March 2011 3:56

ass

cg53mac 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 4:01

GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLL...oh, sorry

simpson790 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 4:20

that sounds alot like my ex

zarrah_fml 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 4:39

Wow. Me and my boyfriend were in the woods one day and he was trying to break a stick and accidentally hit me in the face after he hit it against a tree. He was very apologetic about it though. If he was the type to yell "goal" or something like that bad things would have happened. Like they probably would have found his body in the woods all messed up

JFle123 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 5:26

Snipe!!

mappinn 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 5:42

balls to the face!

1234USMC 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 8:27

hahaha your boyfriends awesome!!!

fuckmylife_co_uk 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 8:41

lad.

SAgirl 13

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:54

dont you mean ex bf?

42billybob 5

Tuesday 22 March 2011 15:48

You know, when you work really hard at building a relationship over the course of more than a few weeks things like this get forgiven. I don't mean sit there and take beatings every day and believe the psychopath when he says it's your fault, I mean don't write off someone as a person on the basis of a single lapse in judgment. Men aren't always right and sometimes our sense of humour goes too far but you could cut us some slack every now and then. Haven't we earned it after all the PMS shit we put up with from you?