Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it...

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 940

You deserved it 6 692

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Same thing different taste

Boing

By lily - 18/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was about to kiss my boyfriend in a courtyard when a soccer ball hit me in the head, hard. My boyfriend remarked that it made a "hollow sound" when it hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 193

By bruised - 19/05/2016 20:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 315

You deserved it 1 239

The name of that old man?

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 191

You deserved it 5 579

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 420

You deserved it 4 472

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 4 185

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 105

You deserved it 3 325

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 169

You deserved it 2 927

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 981

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 278

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 591

ManBearP1g 0

Monday 21 March 2011 8:37

Take a tennis racquet and whack him and say deuce.

sweet_candy_ 17

Monday 21 March 2011 9:00

Kick his balls and then say GOAAAAAAL.

Comments

khaya 9

Monday 21 March 2011 18:51

What good aim, has he thought about going pro.

RaVeN53 7

Monday 21 March 2011 22:32

if he really was aiming for the bin please tell me he's not a serious hockey player cuz he has really bad aim!

dcattack11 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 0:01

your bf must suck at hockey

MissFYourLife 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 0:22

Hahaha:) FYL for not having a sense of humor:) That's hilarious just get some ice & laugh OP :)

MissFYourLife 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 0:25

Hahaha:)

tristain 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:08

hahaha I luld

Travis420 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:23

You should get a penalty shot

hellosir23 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:56

Fyl for your mouth being big enough to be a goal.

What_Exactly 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 2:18

He probably thought you would be used to having balls in your mouth anyway.

iTzCindyLove 3

Tuesday 22 March 2011 3:22

LOL , Was waiting for someone to say that !

JellieDoughnut 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 2:56

Get rid of that asshole

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The Top

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

The Top

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 767

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 1 136

Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 43

Today, my co-workers decided in our meeting with my boss that everything is my fault. When asked for examples, they couldn't come up with any. Now they are mad at me, because I'm apparently good at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 750

You deserved it 1 002

Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 226

You deserved it 302

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 230

You deserved it 3 744