Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it... - FML

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 940

You deserved it 6 692

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Boing

By lily - 18/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was about to kiss my boyfriend in a courtyard when a soccer ball hit me in the head, hard. My boyfriend remarked that it made a "hollow sound" when it hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 193

By bruised - 19/05/2016 20:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 315

You deserved it 1 239

The name of that old man?

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 191

You deserved it 5 579

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 420

You deserved it 4 472

By Anon - 08/11/2010 18:34 - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 4 185

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 105

You deserved it 3 325

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 169

You deserved it 2 927

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 981

Fight Club for Dummies

By Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 278

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 591

Next

Top comments

ManBearP1g 0

Monday 21 March 2011 8:37

Take a tennis racquet and whack him and say deuce.

sweet_candy_ 17

Monday 21 March 2011 9:00

Kick his balls and then say GOAAAAAAL.

Comments

Prussia2 6

Monday 21 March 2011 10:21

and that is why I don't like hockey XD. or any sport really

vickthedick 10

Monday 21 March 2011 10:27

oh young love

eftup 9

Monday 21 March 2011 10:27

hockey is stupid!

ToxixShots 0

Monday 21 March 2011 10:47

well hes a good shot

TypicalAverageJo 0

Monday 21 March 2011 11:09

Well you can try doing exactly that to him, just aim his McNuggets.

Ruri_fml 3

Monday 21 March 2011 11:12

Oh come on. Lighten up, OP. You can both laugh about it now.

Yung23 0

Monday 21 March 2011 11:39

lmfao

eric1152 0

Monday 21 March 2011 11:42

This Fml made me bout piss my pants laughing.

FuzzyTheAwsome 1

Monday 21 March 2011 11:48

GOAL!!! Lolz

Herp 0

Monday 21 March 2011 11:55

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The Top

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

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You deserved it 84 242

The Top

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You deserved it 4 344

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I agree, your life sucks 40 548

You deserved it 4 634

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 495

Today, I have been dealing with painful lymphedema and I'd finally got a doctor's appointment, but they called and cancelled last minute. Here's to another week being in pain… FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 81

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 470

You deserved it 12 273

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 289

You deserved it 29 203