Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear,...

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 53 765

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 231

You deserved it 39 338

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 144

You deserved it 9 448

War drums

By Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 234

You deserved it 10 684

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 910

You deserved it 18 538

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 310

You deserved it 2 763

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 656

You deserved it 9 534

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 093

You deserved it 5 623

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 772

You deserved it 4 441

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 974

You deserved it 2 038

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 443

You deserved it 6 706

Lozza111 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 8:56

haha, your bf is awesome, stop complaining

ZleveL 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 9:01

my comment never showed ip :( I was first too D: anyways, all my comment was was "the penis sleeps toniiiiight" ;)

Comments

welandedonthemoo 5

Friday 23 July 2010 2:01

I have crop circles in my bush

ManaUser 0

Friday 23 July 2010 2:46

At least he said it was mighty.

xttiiaax 0

Friday 23 July 2010 3:02

hahaha maybee you shoulldd shave that thenn

MooseIsLoose 0

Friday 23 July 2010 3:36

you might want to get out the weed wacker and tame the jungle! just sayin....bad kitty!

katieh15 0

Friday 23 July 2010 3:39

LMFAO, I'm guessing the lion doesn't sleep tonight.

sueannpalma 7

Friday 23 July 2010 3:41

hahaha YDI shave that shit lmfao

RawrBunneh 0

Friday 23 July 2010 3:41

ewwwwwwz shaving is uncomfortable with the stubbly feel! I used to wax down there now I have had laser hair removal. i love it!

terranada 3

Friday 23 July 2010 3:44

it's calked shaving cream. I thnk ur bf was trying to tell u sumthng op

rubyliu8420 7

Friday 23 July 2010 4:12

ydi! shave that shit bitch!

bakingstuff 0

Friday 23 July 2010 5:20

op did your boyfriend also say hakuna matata?

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about his kids being hard to handle. He repeatedly said the other day that if he had a woman to help then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard. I don’t really know how to take that, since I’ve said multiple times I’m willing to meet them. I feel like I’m too close, to soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 177

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 704

You deserved it 52 044

The Top

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 244

Today, I found an ad for my job at my company on an online job board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 007

You deserved it 2 216

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 648

You deserved it 5 649

Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 077

You deserved it 1 837

Today, a stranger yelled, "Non-believers shouldn't wear these!" He then took my rosary and ran off. It belonged to my dead brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 426

You deserved it 324

Today, I overheard my husband screaming and sobbing into the phone. Apparently, his mistress has been cheating on him with both his brother and their uncle. Who’s the woman in question? My much younger niece, who lives next door. I don’t even know where to begin to approach this dumpster fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 132