Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear,...

By Wawawiwa - 21/07/2010 23:44 - Namibia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 53 763

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 230

You deserved it 39 337

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 140

You deserved it 9 447

War drums

By Taylor - 30/07/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 232

You deserved it 10 684

By thetalkingvagina - 09/06/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 910

You deserved it 18 536

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 303

You deserved it 2 763

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 9 534

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 088

You deserved it 5 620

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 758

You deserved it 4 440

By disney_dick - 08/01/2018 00:00 - United States - Mims

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 970

You deserved it 2 037

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 442

You deserved it 6 704

Lozza111 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 8:56

haha, your bf is awesome, stop complaining

ZleveL 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 9:01

my comment never showed ip :( I was first too D: anyways, all my comment was was "the penis sleeps toniiiiight" ;)

Comments

welandedonthemoo 5

Friday 23 July 2010 2:01

I have crop circles in my bush

ManaUser 0

Friday 23 July 2010 2:46

At least he said it was mighty.

xttiiaax 0

Friday 23 July 2010 3:02

hahaha maybee you shoulldd shave that thenn

MooseIsLoose 0

Friday 23 July 2010 3:36

you might want to get out the weed wacker and tame the jungle! just sayin....bad kitty!

katieh15 0

Friday 23 July 2010 3:39

LMFAO, I'm guessing the lion doesn't sleep tonight.

sueannpalma 7

Friday 23 July 2010 3:41

hahaha YDI shave that shit lmfao

RawrBunneh 0

Friday 23 July 2010 3:41

ewwwwwwz shaving is uncomfortable with the stubbly feel! I used to wax down there now I have had laser hair removal. i love it!

terranada 3

Friday 23 July 2010 3:44

it's calked shaving cream. I thnk ur bf was trying to tell u sumthng op

rubyliu8420 7

Friday 23 July 2010 4:12

ydi! shave that shit bitch!

bakingstuff 0

Friday 23 July 2010 5:20

op did your boyfriend also say hakuna matata?

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Kids Scary Mental health Parents Creepy Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Sports Crush Teachers Education AITA Public freakouts Mother in law Weddings

The Top

Today, my wife of one week changed locks of the house and put my stuff outside. A letter addressed to “Elizabeth” had arrived in the mail. She thinks it’s my “secret side wife” and that I’m cheating. She was actually the previous owner of the house. My wife told me to, “Tell that lie to someone else.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 161

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 947

You deserved it 4 797

Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 815

Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 530

You deserved it 3 406

Today, after spending $300 on a plane ticket, roses, chocolate-coated strawberries to surprise the girl I’m in love with, she still won’t see me as more than a friend, due to her trust issues from her past relationships. She thinks I’ll hurt her like they did and "ruin the friendship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 1 096

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 490

You deserved it 3 360

Today, with 3 miles left of a 16-mile bike ride, I got a flat tire and had to push my bike back to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 232