Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 13:20 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 977

You deserved it 27 941

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 113

You deserved it 64 139

Run, run away pronto

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 08:01

Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 198

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 191

You deserved it 7 388

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 323

By Suicidal - 20/12/2009 22:40 - Australia

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 084

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 894

You deserved it 40 158

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 876

You deserved it 6 083

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 007

You deserved it 8 074

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 971

You deserved it 4 105

Will you…

By why - 17/08/2013 14:18 - United States - Lexington

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 547

You deserved it 7 392

Pelreskovich 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:43

That's a good thing isn't it? He was happy you made him something he enjoys. Food always gets to us men.

perdix 29

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:45

He's protecting you from murderers, yet you are trying to kill him from the inside. Ingrate!

Comments

L33ch 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 11:48

He's "supposed to protect you"? Well not to worry, the kitchen's a pretty safe place and you're not supposed to leave it.

Cinn_fml 22

Wednesday 18 January 2012 15:45

Yeah, kitchens are really safe places. Just because there's less of a chance of a dangerous person, doesn't make it safe per se.

taytaysauce 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 13:54

French fries . Ftw m/

Egao_fml 8

Wednesday 18 January 2012 14:50

...What's the link between murderers and fries?

CallMeBloo 31

Thursday 19 July 2012 6:38

Apparently this chick.

snafu63 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 15:19

If I had known that was part of the deal I would have broken up with my girlfriend a long time ago.

keshaforever1 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 16:24

Really?This is why woman are considered the weaker sex,because we expect our boyfriends to protect us at all times.

sparklecherry 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 19:59

Maybe you should cook more often. Geez.

nabila21 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 20:37

I would've been pretty excited too.

brooks10101 1

Wednesday 18 January 2012 21:45

Ill take his place ill protect you make you safe Ake shure you never leave the house wear what i tell you **** when i say so and cook what i want and yell at you all the time to asert poroper domanence sound better? So your dating a fag deal with it or move on bitch.