Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 13:20 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 979

You deserved it 27 944

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 114

You deserved it 64 141

Run, run away pronto

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 08:01

Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 199

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 191

You deserved it 7 388

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 338

By Suicidal - 20/12/2009 22:40 - Australia

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 084

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 894

You deserved it 40 164

By that's methed up, darling - 16/08/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 880

You deserved it 6 088

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 011

You deserved it 8 075

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 974

You deserved it 4 106

Will you…

By why - 17/08/2013 14:18 - United States - Lexington

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 556

You deserved it 7 394

Pelreskovich 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:43

That's a good thing isn't it? He was happy you made him something he enjoys. Food always gets to us men.

perdix 29

Tuesday 17 January 2012 18:45

He's protecting you from murderers, yet you are trying to kill him from the inside. Ingrate!

Comments

Ingredients 7

Monday 20 February 2012 23:56

365 likes

Optomisticpencil 7

Saturday 14 April 2012 1:54

tell him to man up

Cinephile_fml 0

Sunday 10 June 2012 4:17

@209: I'm digging your Jon La Joie reference there.

purebliss7 6

Friday 15 June 2012 11:49

who says boyfriends do that? u are demanding what to much out of him its the police job not a boyfriends job

lanken84 1

Saturday 7 July 2012 23:02

Who is this guy?! Spiderman?!

Jonny_Blaze0017 26

Monday 24 December 2012 19:36

Murderers and rapists are irrelevent to the story. Calm down and eat some french fries

wessly13 10

Tuesday 26 March 2013 4:56

What the hell does muderers and rapists have anything to do with french fries?!?!?!

droptableusers 7

Wednesday 1 May 2013 21:46

What is he your ******* guard, why is he supposed to do that for you?

WumbologyMajor 3

Wednesday 22 May 2013 22:01

That's not normal?

The_9th_Doctor 18

Monday 12 August 2013 2:06

you sure you're not dating a girl?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Work Relatable My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

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Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 539

You deserved it 1 905

The Top

Today, I found out I make less money than the temps at my job by over 2 dollars an hour. I've been working there the longest and do 75% of the job myself. I was told, "We'll think about it" when talking to upper management about getting equal pay or close to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 102

Today, I made my first ever chocolate fudge, which turned out really nice. I had a bite and left it on the counter with plastic wrap covering, only to come back later to find my sister's cat pissing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 185

You deserved it 551

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 003

You deserved it 61 049

Today, I needed to buy a new crash helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 098

You deserved it 9 016

Today, I got fired from my job for having a resting bitch face when I get frustrated or when I'm concentrating on my work. According to them, I have to work on my "anger issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 227

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year-old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 047

You deserved it 14 893