Love: Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please...

By notakeeper - 03/01/2014 03:50 - United States - Orlando

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 102

You deserved it 4 664

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Love is…

By jemma - 04/08/2009 11:27 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well… until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said, "Shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 106

You deserved it 4 740

By blaze - 17/02/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 164

You deserved it 2 453

National bard

By bad poet - 02/12/2013 01:57 - United States - Millerton

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 748

You deserved it 4 662

By Anonymous - 14/09/2009 09:41 - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 098

You deserved it 4 378

By izzy - 07/02/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 833

You deserved it 225

By lonely - 15/04/2013 03:45 - United States

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 751

You deserved it 4 524

It's the thought that counts…

By Loveandpoetry - 31/05/2011 21:12

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 919

You deserved it 5 369

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 02:22 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a love letter saying about how much he cares for me, how he'd die for me and how he wants to spend his life with me. What really took my breath away was the confession at the end about how he "accidentally" cheated on me with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 110

You deserved it 1 605

By ... - 04/01/2014 05:25 - United States

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 374

You deserved it 8 787

By Crumpet - 25/06/2010 07:08 - Canada

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said, "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was, "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 024

You deserved it 5 294

Cusefan5 6

Friday 3 January 2014 17:10

Dump his sorry ass

fakan 4

Friday 3 January 2014 17:13

get a new mister that won't screw your sister.

Comments

anon137 7

Saturday 4 January 2014 19:29

Kick his ass out!

Sillywilly99 8

Saturday 4 January 2014 23:17

Sounds like a Taylor Swift song.

therealjc_fml 14

Sunday 5 January 2014 5:00

Creative, but super shitty nonetheless:(

Slightly_Flawed 5

Wednesday 8 January 2014 23:43

You can keep my sister, hope she gives your **** a blister.

Cupcakefreak23 2

Sunday 19 January 2014 0:27

I love how it rhymed but they're right

allbrightjohn04 4

Monday 27 January 2014 22:08

Please don't let this be the end, I'm sorry that I ****** your friend

alexdevega 5

Tuesday 11 February 2014 4:40

hhhhh. amazing poem

grritsshay 18

Wednesday 21 May 2014 21:27

I'd write a nice little poem ending with my foot up his ass and shoving him out the door.

coltsfan567 3

Thursday 12 June 2014 7:41

what a nice guy at least he apologized

PartnersInCrime 7

Monday 1 February 2016 18:15

maybe he couldn't find anything else that rhymed with mister..? ?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, thanks to that stupid ass blue dog, our kids haven’t stopped hounding me about when their dad and I are getting married. They’re too young to understand, so I try to gently change the subject. That worked for about 5 minutes before they were right back to asking. Holy uncomfortable subject Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 727

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 56

The Top

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 958

You deserved it 7 474

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 342

You deserved it 44 305

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 159

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 905

You deserved it 5 130

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 602

You deserved it 13 855

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 084

You deserved it 7 403

Same thing different taste

Love is…

National bard

It's the thought that counts…

Top comments

Comments