Miscellaneous: Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's...

By lala7 - 20/08/2011 23:02 - United States

Today, my brother told the family that if you pull on the dog's back foot then she always obeys. I later found my mom tugging on the dog's foot, while whispering, "Jump off a cliff" repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 123

You deserved it 2 567

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Same thing different taste

Road rage

By notapetkiller - 26/07/2016 06:12 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 994

You deserved it 1 631

Wake up bark

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 05:00 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 71

By gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 080

You deserved it 1 125

By Anonymous - 02/10/2014 04:47 - United States - Olive Branch

Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 915

You deserved it 35 678

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 306

You deserved it 8 133

By muffins69 - 18/09/2010 02:34 - United States

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 518

You deserved it 9 545

Beast Mode

By Vee - 24/09/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 214

You deserved it 437

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By typical - 13/04/2013 23:49 - United States - Cheshire

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 245

You deserved it 4 155

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 21:36 - Sweden - Falun

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 718

You deserved it 7 330

iAmScrubs 19

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:19

If the dog is wearing a parachute, then it could be magical. A dog gliding off a cliff slowly without a care in the world.

Jacobt24 19

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:19

I suggest watching your dog very carefully from now on

Comments

MrSexyPants 14

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:29

It was their brother, but yeah I can totally see how it's their fault. Fool.

mekaylahm 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:29

O.o people these days

thepandawh0re 2

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:31

ya I like pandas too

socialdisease 1

Sunday 21 August 2011 13:55

how are pandas relevant to this fml???

ireallylikewomen 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 14:44

hmmm.... im not sure. maybe they arent...?! (.)_( .)

thepandawh0re 2

Monday 22 August 2011 4:33

pandas are relevant to every subject

jakiwi 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:31

See if it works on her as well but say "Stop being a dumbass."

ImSoBaller 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:34

You ignorant hoe

Mirorbo 26

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:55

What's with the psychotic parents lately?

citymayer 7

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:56

Why is it always the mom that hates the dog?

fijianchick 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 10:00

I don't think your mommy likes dogs very much...

DottieGothicGirl 3

Sunday 21 August 2011 10:06

Did it work?

TrixER 6

Sunday 21 August 2011 10:09

So did your dog recently die today?

BelleBelle_fml 11

Sunday 21 August 2011 11:31

You make no sense.

Tinseltopia 3

Monday 22 August 2011 1:41

Hey what anime is your profile pic? I'm intrigued

Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Ironic Embarrassing Relatable Transportation Instagram Social Media Shopping Parenting Love AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Kids Dogs Friends Pranks Housework Cars Technology Porn Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 403

You deserved it 11 952

Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning, he spent two hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after five minutes, then five minutes after that he was playing with the cat again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 432

The Top

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 122

You deserved it 2 448

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 533

You deserved it 3 273

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 9 237

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 196

You deserved it 7 698

Today, my husband thought it was the best idea ever to clean the cat's litter box with the brand new vacuum cleaner instead of tipping it into a bin bag. My house now fills with the smell of warm cat piss every time I hoover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 629

You deserved it 401

Same thing different taste

Road rage

Wake up bark

Beast Mode

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