Kids: Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key... - FML

By rkbkate - 11/07/2012 05:04 - United States - Phenix City

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 533

You deserved it 2 879

rkbkate tells us more.

rkbkate 6

Wednesday 11 July 2012 18:22

This was my post thanks for all the comments guys Haha my brother has a rude awakening coming soon Haha and he is no longer able to touch my keys.

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 11 July 2012 12:33

Your revenge is simple. While he sleeps, spray his balls.

zandalee 19

Wednesday 11 July 2012 12:06

Damn! What a rude awakening! Is he still alive. I'm cranky as hell if woken up normally! I would have to plot my revenge very carefully...

Comments

animal50199 10

Tuesday 17 July 2012 5:37

How old is your brother? Lol

soccercutieex13 1

Wednesday 18 July 2012 5:24

I think he knew it was real lol

michelele 0

Saturday 21 July 2012 10:08

my brother would have got the worst beating of his life!!!!!!

JackFaire 27

Friday 29 November 2013 0:42

As a brother he didn't disbelieve it was real that was his excuse to avoid getting in trouble for it. If he hadn't thought it was real he would have tested it on himself. He used it on OP because he knew it was real and thought it would be funny.

Baller_Bob 17

Sunday 9 March 2014 6:35

Why would someone carry fake pepper spray?

cdncw 20

Friday 15 May 2015 19:37

Coat the inside of his briefs with A5-35

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Weekend Parents Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 1 209

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 11

The Top

Today, my parents are the most toxic people I've ever met. They don't allow me to go outside, they decide what I eat, who my friends are, chastise every fucking little thing I do even when it's so minor you could just forget about it in one second. The biggest shame in my life is encountering such toxic people like them. I HATE them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 189

Today, it's the tenth anniversary of me getting my driver's license. My record is perfect: no accidents, no tickets. Today is also the tenth anniversary of the last time I drove a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 511

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 297

You deserved it 5 212

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 915

You deserved it 13 006

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 749

You deserved it 3 564

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 556

You deserved it 26 369