Transportation: Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 07/10/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 491

You deserved it 3 360

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 18/01/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 400

You deserved it 2 187

By Anonymous - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Frederick

Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 322

You deserved it 443

To make an omelette

By EggyBum - 26/01/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 139

You deserved it 30 604

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 094

You deserved it 3 149

By Anonymous - 05/08/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 549

You deserved it 4 552

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 404

You deserved it 9 219

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 437

You deserved it 505

By Laura - 11/03/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 567

You deserved it 4 607

By Anonymous - 19/04/2011 15:06 - United States

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 149

You deserved it 6 182

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 56 784

Next

Top comments

flagg1888 3

Friday 7 October 2011 8:56

Stop inviting eggs over and they will not get acquainted

Jacobt24 19

Friday 7 October 2011 8:56

Make an omelette. They are already scrambled. Whoever threw them already did half the work.

Comments

djrox11 0

Friday 7 October 2011 10:32

girl with kik msg me @ djroxll

djrox11 0

Friday 7 October 2011 10:35

ah **** the moderators

rocker_chick105 31

Friday 7 October 2011 11:47

At least he has friends!

SadinSherman 16

Friday 7 October 2011 15:37

Not very nice friends

kuytsgoldenlocks 1

Friday 7 October 2011 12:01

Any particular reason why?

amanda_d95 9

Friday 7 October 2011 12:08

Sounds like your car is addicted. Time for an intervention

sadatad 0

Friday 7 October 2011 12:20

There's a reason

Btreasure 8

Friday 7 October 2011 13:21

People are starving and have never tasted anything other than the inside of their mouth, and somebody wastes over 30 eggs on your car? Dont people think about the less fortunate anymore?

Person1233 12

Friday 7 October 2011 13:43

I think the OP is eggs-aggerating.

Cheylea 10

Friday 7 October 2011 14:10

Who did you tick off?!

perdix 29

Friday 7 October 2011 15:43

Suck on that, England! A few weeks ago we had an FML about a car in England getting hit with an egg. Here, in the good ol' US of A, we go with overwhelming force! Boo-yah! Team America, **** yeah! President Bachmann would be proud.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 7 October 2011 15:49

Yeah. Talk about welcome to the neighborhood.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Halloween Lonely Love Party Jealousy Fight Family Argument Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings YouTube TikTok Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, I finally got my boyfriend to watch one of my favorite TV shows. I was excitedly talking when he interrupted me and angrily said, "Can you stop with the fucking spoilers?" I then realized I'd spoiled half the show. He left to play video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 851

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 250

You deserved it 4 328

The Top

Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 733

You deserved it 2 169

Today, my husband told me he's just "not interested" in having sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 190

You deserved it 1 736

Today, my drunk brother told me he has an incest fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 270

You deserved it 721

Today, I was promoted. I got advice throughout the day from all of management on what I'm supposed to do first thing everyday. Not one was the same as the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 311

You deserved it 503

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 540

You deserved it 2 927

Today, I was ordering some clothes from Abercrombie online and I went to measure my bust to check what size I am in American. I got my measurement, checked what size it would be and the size of my bust was not even listed on the website. Great. Now even Abercrombie thinks I have small tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 658

You deserved it 9 137