Transportation: Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 07/10/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 494

You deserved it 3 360

When Christmas Ends Badly…
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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 18/01/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 401

You deserved it 2 187

By Anonymous - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Frederick

Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 324

You deserved it 443

To make an omelette

By EggyBum - 26/01/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 140

You deserved it 30 604

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 095

You deserved it 3 149

By Anonymous - 05/08/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 550

You deserved it 4 552

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 405

You deserved it 9 220

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 437

You deserved it 505

By Laura - 11/03/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 4 607

By Anonymous - 19/04/2011 15:06 - United States

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 150

You deserved it 6 182

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 56 787

Next

Top comments

flagg1888 3

Friday 7 October 2011 8:56

Stop inviting eggs over and they will not get acquainted

Jacobt24 19

Friday 7 October 2011 8:56

Make an omelette. They are already scrambled. Whoever threw them already did half the work.

Comments

djrox11 0

Friday 7 October 2011 10:32

girl with kik msg me @ djroxll

djrox11 0

Friday 7 October 2011 10:35

ah **** the moderators

rocker_chick105 31

Friday 7 October 2011 11:47

At least he has friends!

SadinSherman 16

Friday 7 October 2011 15:37

Not very nice friends

kuytsgoldenlocks 1

Friday 7 October 2011 12:01

Any particular reason why?

amanda_d95 9

Friday 7 October 2011 12:08

Sounds like your car is addicted. Time for an intervention

sadatad 0

Friday 7 October 2011 12:20

There's a reason

Btreasure 8

Friday 7 October 2011 13:21

People are starving and have never tasted anything other than the inside of their mouth, and somebody wastes over 30 eggs on your car? Dont people think about the less fortunate anymore?

Person1233 12

Friday 7 October 2011 13:43

I think the OP is eggs-aggerating.

Cheylea 10

Friday 7 October 2011 14:10

Who did you tick off?!

perdix 29

Friday 7 October 2011 15:43

Suck on that, England! A few weeks ago we had an FML about a car in England getting hit with an egg. Here, in the good ol' US of A, we go with overwhelming force! Boo-yah! Team America, **** yeah! President Bachmann would be proud.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 7 October 2011 15:49

Yeah. Talk about welcome to the neighborhood.

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Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 147

You deserved it 6 979

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 244

The Top

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 286

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 314

You deserved it 29 623

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 094

You deserved it 3 523

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 650

You deserved it 46 030

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 504

You deserved it 29 335

Today, my girlfriend and I went hiking in the mountains. She didn't tell me that she had packed meat to cook in my bag. About two hours after we set out, a wolf attacked me but I pepper sprayed it and it ran off. After that my girlfriend looked at me and said "You didn't have to hurt the doggy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 465

You deserved it 357