Miscellaneous: Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs...

By Noname - 18/01/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 401

You deserved it 2 187

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/10/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 3 360

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 404

You deserved it 9 219

No yolk

By eggonmiface - 01/07/2018 15:00

Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 437

You deserved it 505

By Anonymous - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Frederick

Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 323

You deserved it 443

By skichick54 - 24/08/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 293

You deserved it 3 741

By FuckYou - 02/07/2012 06:07 - United States - Santa Maria

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 649

You deserved it 54 053

By francesa_loca - 14/10/2011 16:09 - Canada

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 965

You deserved it 2 524

There's no such thing as a coincidence

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 10:57

Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 158

By Rizmo - 25/09/2016 07:11 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 508

You deserved it 743

By Anonymous - 19/04/2011 15:06 - United States

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 149

You deserved it 6 182

OneWithNoRegrets 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 0:28

I think i passed your house im not kidding

AreYouSure_fml 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 5:50

Jeez those people that egged your house are little *****.

Comments

Jessaly_fml 0

Monday 16 February 2009 21:02

How are you gonna get that shit off?

xTrollz_OF_Lyfex 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 23:24

YDI for owning a house.

GiddyXD 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:56

wow why r ppl like u so mean?

kcpkid 0

Monday 23 July 2012 21:59

How is that mean?

DEATHx2 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 6:21

same thing happened to me, it sucks, I know.

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Friday 1 November 2013 6:02

Hopefully OP found out who the douchebags were and proceeded to pelt them in the face with eggs.

Lizo_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 8:30

LOL, i TOTALLY want to try that while its still -100 out! great idea!! FYL

AreYouSure_fml 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 5:50

Jeez those people that egged your house are little *****.

FBIWarning 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 23:43

ouch, must of been a racket to hear all those frozen eggs hit your house.

Avaquin 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:31

lol- where i live they would have been fried eggs (even in winter) :]

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Friday 1 November 2013 6:04

Well, I wouldn't mind if a stranger gave me some fried eggs courtesy of my flaming hot house!

OneWithNoRegrets 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 0:28

I think i passed your house im not kidding

dommosoh 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 15:58

How friggin' cold is it there?!

candyxpopcorn 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 0:41

Don't worry if there's snow it'll cover it. If there isn't get hot water and wash it off.

FMLreactor 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 17:00

Lol.

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The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 691

You deserved it 3 149

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 9 289

The Top

Today, I found out I’m the guy whose wife made adult films in college. Although embarrassed, I thought I may be able to get past it. Except for the fact that we dated in college, and she insisted we wait until after we were married to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 664

You deserved it 369

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 128

You deserved it 3 389

Today, I twisted my ankle and fractured my wrist while dancing. I audition for a performing arts school in one week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 176

You deserved it 288

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 048

You deserved it 27 686

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 162

You deserved it 4 453

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 122

You deserved it 6 055

Same thing different taste

No yolk

There's no such thing as a coincidence

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