Animals: Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas...

FML for mobile
Free

By DarkDisaster - 27/12/2012 10:16 - United States

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 279

You deserved it 8 231

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

A cat called Bruce

By Dave - 24/12/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 221

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 196

Merry Xmas

By Christmas sucks - 24/12/2012 01:03 - United States - Boston

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 885

You deserved it 4 772

Christmas Chaos

By shaggyberaddy - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 816

You deserved it 1 052

The hunter's yowl

By Good job - 31/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my cat started screaming nonstop outside my bedroom. She's never done this since she was last in heat (she's 7 1/2 years old), so I was worried. I opened the door to find that she had "killed' a mouse (a fake one, formerly attached to her cat tree) and was very proud of herself. That's cute, but… really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 171

Evil but cute

By WearingOff - 14/07/2009 03:03 - United States

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 437

You deserved it 8 837

Cartoonish

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 02:01

Today, my kid jumped from the couch into our Christmas tree. As she literally slid down the entire tree, it was like it was happening in slow motion. I was laughing so hard, I peed myself, so I had to clean up decorations and my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 499

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 690

You deserved it 3 456

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 057

You deserved it 104 335

Stealth attack

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 16:58 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I was cooking when I got jumped from behind by my friend's cat, who thought my back would make a great lookout perch. Yesterday he tried to sharpen his claws on me. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a tree trunk, but maybe I need glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 172

flysniper77 6

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:03

Not everyday you get attacked by pussy

MelTheGreat 23

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:38

Unless you're Tiger Woods.

Comments

ICastillo 24

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:09

Surprise!!! He was just giving you a hug for Christmas. Don't be so rude and just accept with open arms.

80skid 15

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:11

Psycho cat.

nycwrestler 17

Thursday 27 December 2012 22:08

Crazy pussy

abbiyroad 16

Friday 28 December 2012 2:45

That pussy's a riot

Looee 20

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:12

Some cats cannot be trusted.

howdeedoo 22

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:46

Seeing how many cat FML's there are, I would say most cats can't be trusted

daytoday21 10

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:12

Hard to have much sympathy for you when you would have thought it funny if it were anyone else

hama806 19

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:14

Your cat is awesome!

amykins11 6

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:18

maybe your cat was unhappy with its lack of presents

Werken247 14

Thursday 27 December 2012 21:07

Or maybe the cat was pissed about the pandora bracelet OP got her.

ManInTheMachine 19

Thursday 27 December 2012 21:29

I'm pretty sure it's because she told it what she was getting it for Christmas.

billyz77 24

Thursday 27 December 2012 23:06

Like all the people I've read about the last few days. I wonder if I'm the only person that had a beautiful Christmas?

tararochelle 18

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:18

Still funny to me!! Cats are angry little animals, aren't they?? :)

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:19

OP is hurt right meow, but you were able to avoid greater suffering by a whisker so be happy!

nycwrestler 17

Thursday 27 December 2012 22:10

Purrhaps puns aren't your thing.

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Thursday 27 December 2012 22:38

Yeah, I realized what a catastrophe that was :3

wagne057 6

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:28

Maybe she's just fulfilling her dreams of being a terrifying panther attacking passing prey!

perdix 29

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:38

So, you are into schadenfreude, other people's pain. Great. Happy ******* new year!

Werken247 14

Thursday 27 December 2012 21:05

Awwww Perdix... you say that like it's a bad thing.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Vacation Relatable TV shows Health Periods Kids Cute Love Abuse Gross Healthy Lifestyle Parenting Smells Cheating Flowers Sex My ex Money Awkward Instagram Social Media Hospital Pregnancy Animals Dogs Death Sadness Intimacy AITA Technology

The Top

Today, a screenshot of an old tweet of mine went viral. Unfortunately, it was completely taken out of context, thinking it was saying the opposite of what I actually meant, and now I’m trending on both “Libs of TikTok” and “Woke Watch” or whatever the fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 335

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 913

You deserved it 19 676

The Top

Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 041

You deserved it 1 412

Today, and as of late, my girlfriend of 6 months has been getting distant with me, but reassures me that she still loves me. I found out she was hanging out with her ex-girlfriend of two years. They even went out to dinner, and she didn't tell me. I was planning on taking her out tonight too, and I only found out because my friend ran into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 127

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 115

You deserved it 6 870

Today, I was called a paedophile and was physically attacked, because I parked in a spot directly next to a McDonald’s outdoor play area and sat there for a while. I was waiting for my drive-through order, in the spot where the staff told me to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 102

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 436

You deserved it 7 601

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 122

You deserved it 2 999

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments