Animals: Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 604

You deserved it 8 666

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 504

You deserved it 4 479

Smells better when turned on

By p0isonOreo68 - 24/09/2020 20:02

Today, my cat peed on my stove. There’s multiple clean litter-boxes that he could have used instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 218

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 680

You deserved it 3 453

By justme - 09/02/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 643

You deserved it 5 173

By AussieG75 - 07/05/2013 14:18 - United States - Lakewood

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 054

You deserved it 7 435

By Anonymous - 02/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Spearfish

Today, my dumbass cat sat on a lit candle. The whole house now smells like burnt hair and I now have to clip clumps of wax-burnt hair off his bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 968

By Jack W. - 09/12/2015 19:26 - United States

Today, my cat regurgitated his food right on top of a heating vent located on my floor. Now the whole house smells like hot vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 048

You deserved it 2 120

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 362

You deserved it 9 861

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 426

You deserved it 838

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 207

mikejunior88 4

Wednesday 20 April 2011 8:21

did you discover this before or after you made your toast?

theunwiseone 4

Wednesday 20 April 2011 8:19

scrape out the shit and use it as Nutella on your toast. tasty solution ;)

Comments

musicphreakk 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 23:06

Eww, haha.

meganmagee 11

Wednesday 20 April 2011 23:14

Boo hoo. Toaster are what? Ten bucks?

EmElle88 9

Wednesday 20 April 2011 23:15

I applaud it's skill. toasters are high and the gaps are pretty thin.

corrinaswan 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 0:21

lol eewwwwww how did it shot in the toaster tho

69_jackson_69 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:08

*Phhnk* surprise!

lifehatingguy 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:17

well good thing u weren't make toast when it did u would also smell burnt shit for days XD!

silly17 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:26

you too?!

greekdk15 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:35

get a new one

donaldmoman 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:50

at least when you open your door, your cat doesn't haul ass to a specific corner and shit everytime.

XxHITMAN11895xX 3

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:51

ecoli toast anyone lol

Keywords

Gamers Porn Miscellaneous Relatable Work Awkward Surprise Annoying Pranks Family Politics Money Games Cute Love Weddings Parents Mental health Health Autism Dating Tinder First Dates Pizza Dogs Sports Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Toilet Noise

The Top

Stop everything you're doing right now, there's an (almost) naked lady in today's illustration! Plus, there's a puppet AND doctors. It's the perfect illustration, made by Gemma Correll, our British artist of the day. Check out her interview! ...

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

Today, after I'd asked my brother be my reference for a job, he made up some story about a 9-month contract, then the work was done so they told me not to come anymore. My potential new boss told me how big of a liar I was and how it cost me the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 538

The Top

Today, for the first time ever, one of my birthday wishes came true. I wished for my crush to come hang out with me, and she did. I wasted my birthday wish on an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 531

You deserved it 3 204

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 583

You deserved it 6 016

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 121

Today, my daughter asked to go to a party and I said no, because I know some of the other people going and they're bad news. She then said she only asked permission as a courtesy, and is going anyway and just left. She lives with me but she did turn 18 last week, and I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 941

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 539

You deserved it 8 145

Today, my younger sister saw one of my friends "sack tap" me, and randomly did it to me herself as I walked past her. She doesn't get why it's "funny" when my friend does it but not as funny when she does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 523

Same thing different taste

Smells better when turned on

Rescue cat

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

Top comments

Comments