...died inside maybe? if that counts.

i tried killing myself with a water gun

I feel like I shouldn't laugh at this because he tried to commit suicide. But that was just too funny and totally something I would've blurred out too!

That just means you ****** up, bigtime.

Moron.

There are no words... Nope, none at all :-))

Also, I'm pretty sure that you made him feel a lot better. Silly things make us laugh, and you can't feel down while you're laughing. I've actually tried, and it makes the anger/sadness, etc just fly out the window.

Not OP's fault in this situation, it's pretty overwhelming being told this information, I told a friend one time and they just kinda stood there for about 20 seconds before taking a seat, it's hard to come up with proper words that comfort the person

Oh you're a bright one.

Better than saying too bad it didn't work...