Miscellaneous: Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had...

By Aly - 15/08/2013 07:10 - United States - Ontario

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 48 830

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Urges

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 04:01

Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 957

By Anonymous - 29/01/2010 07:25 - United States

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 343

You deserved it 58 597

Channeling Gordon Ramsay

By ThisIsGonnaBeALongFewDays - 13/02/2023 22:00

Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 312

For Life

By worshippingatthethrone - 17/02/2022 10:00

Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 1 621

By mia - 29/12/2016 22:35 - United States - Wakefield

Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 571

You deserved it 921

By blondetergent - 20/06/2011 08:12 - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 917

You deserved it 15 346

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 941

Coach Class

By GetFuzzy - 18/10/2019 12:00

Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 2 057

By kohler9790 - 22/02/2012 01:29 - United States

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 589

You deserved it 3 384

By Anonymous - 05/07/2015 19:20 - United States - Silverdale

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 295

You deserved it 6 997

CoGhostRider 31

Thursday 15 August 2013 12:09

Might as well go order a steak now

domiirose28 9

Thursday 15 August 2013 12:07

And I bet you thought it was delicious!

Comments

dudechef 8

Tuesday 8 October 2013 15:32

Guess you get to start all over again

bopersonn 13

Tuesday 31 December 2013 20:57

U must have been really drunk

cmo333 10

Wednesday 17 December 2014 6:47

not vegetarian anymore...

tister 2

Monday 7 March 2016 10:45

Ya ****** vegetarian I know it makes me sound illiterate and dumb but there was no better way to word it.

SiraSiemens 21

Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:39

oh no you filthy traitor! all it takes is a little alcohol to make you stray off the right path?? SHAME SHAME SHAME you chicken murderer you, bet you really enjoyed that pizza too