Miscellaneous: Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML - FML

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 730

You deserved it 5 791

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 153

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 248

You deserved it 3 052

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 395

You deserved it 4 331

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 752

You deserved it 2 383

By ItGirl - 09/11/2014 02:36 - Sweden - Eskilstuna

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 529

You deserved it 3 367

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 670

You deserved it 3 398

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 2 777

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 368

You deserved it 2 467

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 98

Next

Top comments

enonymous 8

Friday 1 April 2011 12:24

There is nothing wrong with admiring what you've created... I know I do every time I take a dump... unless it's one of those damned automatic flushing toilets...

matt1990 0

Friday 1 April 2011 12:01

at least he didnt call u ugly. stop bein debby downer.

Comments

tbonea1990 0

Friday 1 April 2011 20:23

its not that bad unless he tried screwed u

xxxjj18 2

Friday 1 April 2011 20:32

At least someone thinks you're hot

sgtrobswifey 0

Friday 1 April 2011 21:21

Anybody else hearing banjos softly twanging in the background..?

dubsweets 0

Friday 1 April 2011 22:18

you grow up to marry your own father

ilikepie22313 5

Friday 1 April 2011 22:34

they say they truth is all that comes out when your drunk ya know?

xDancer101x 0

Friday 1 April 2011 22:39

wow your dad is a bad drunk

heavyt 0

Friday 1 April 2011 23:29

agreed

Liyce 10

Friday 1 April 2011 23:40

The best part about this is that she's from Ohio.

robert75266 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 0:10

u are probably just super sexy. send me a pic

KT237 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 0:11

atleast someone in your life called you hot...

5
6
7
8
9

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Coworkers Work Awkward Money Health Intimacy Sex Love Parents Cheating Proposal Engagement Family Delivery Miscellaneous Customers Painful Coffee Embarrassing Friends Relatable Weddings Shoes Gross Kids Scary Phobias Spiders Romantic TV shows

The Top

Today, my mom accused me of stealing $350 from her. She didn't accuse my unemployed brother, who just bought a brand new iPhone. Even after he confessed to her, she thought he was covering for me. My brother has a criminal record for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 811

You deserved it 121

Today, my girlfriend, who got married at 19 and divorced at 30, told me how much she regretted wasting all her “hot years” being a good and faithful wife to her ex. Oh and that she never got a “hoe-phase” in college like her friends. I think she’s fishing for my permission to cheat. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 185

The Top

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 734

You deserved it 3 606

Today, despite over 100 colleagues agreeing to attend a protest over our working conditions, no one turned up because they were too afraid of losing their jobs. Since I was alone, I was sacked on the spot and physically thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 236

Today, it was my first time trying to longboard. I ended up going down a steep hill and didn’t know to how stop. I wound up in the hospital with a fractured knee and bruises all over from trying to stop myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 750

Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 108

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 810

You deserved it 59 434

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 474

You deserved it 16 561