Miscellaneous: Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML - FML

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 730

You deserved it 5 791

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Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 153

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 247

You deserved it 3 051

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 395

You deserved it 4 331

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 751

You deserved it 2 383

By ItGirl - 09/11/2014 02:36 - Sweden - Eskilstuna

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 529

You deserved it 3 367

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 670

You deserved it 3 398

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 668

You deserved it 2 777

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 367

You deserved it 2 467

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 90

Next

Top comments

enonymous 8

Friday 1 April 2011 12:24

There is nothing wrong with admiring what you've created... I know I do every time I take a dump... unless it's one of those damned automatic flushing toilets...

matt1990 0

Friday 1 April 2011 12:01

at least he didnt call u ugly. stop bein debby downer.

Comments

tbonea1990 0

Friday 1 April 2011 20:23

its not that bad unless he tried screwed u

xxxjj18 2

Friday 1 April 2011 20:32

At least someone thinks you're hot

sgtrobswifey 0

Friday 1 April 2011 21:21

Anybody else hearing banjos softly twanging in the background..?

dubsweets 0

Friday 1 April 2011 22:18

you grow up to marry your own father

ilikepie22313 5

Friday 1 April 2011 22:34

they say they truth is all that comes out when your drunk ya know?

xDancer101x 0

Friday 1 April 2011 22:39

wow your dad is a bad drunk

heavyt 0

Friday 1 April 2011 23:29

agreed

Liyce 10

Friday 1 April 2011 23:40

The best part about this is that she's from Ohio.

robert75266 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 0:10

u are probably just super sexy. send me a pic

KT237 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 0:11

atleast someone in your life called you hot...

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The Top

Today, waiting times in our emergency department were so long that a patient who'd initially presented with just a sprained ankle eventually presented with a sprained ankle and a request to test for STDs because he went to see a prostitute instead of waiting, and his condom broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 242

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 729

You deserved it 18 583

The Top

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 642

You deserved it 8 171

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 522

You deserved it 2 517

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 642

You deserved it 11 481

Today, I have COVID. My almost ex-wife is taking our kid to Thanksgiving with her family, but asked if he could stay longer with me (while I'm in quarantine), I said OK, no energy to argue, but she pushed and when I said, "If he's negative and has no symptoms it seems unnecessary" she screamed, "I DON'T WANT TO KILL MY PARENTS!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 400

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 285

You deserved it 881

Today, I poured gas around my house for pest control. I can still smell it from inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 1 890