Miscellaneous: Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's... - FML

By ohlordhelpmenow - 15/01/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 2 698

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Same thing different taste

My house, my rules

By Bondi414 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 883

You deserved it 2 846

By moudly - 06/01/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 624

You deserved it 5 001

Moldy excuse

By andrea - 02/05/2022 10:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my idiot daughter has allowed mold to grow in her shower. Her excuse? She thought it was just some “stains” that wouldn’t come out. Yeah, I don’t believe that. I think she knew it was mold and just didn’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 295

By Sick - 28/01/2017 16:00

Today, I noticed a thick layer of mold growing inside the straw of my water bottle. I use that bottle every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 739

You deserved it 4 750

Cruel summer

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 22:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, it’s a rather wet summer and everything in our house is prone to mould. No, I’m not exaggerating when I say “everything”: I just found mould growing on the plates in the cupboard. And, no, we did not accidentally put them away unwashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 97

By Cheese luv - 21/09/2016 16:55 - Australia - Watson

Today, my father threw out my $100 wedge of blue cheese because it "smelled funny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 000

You deserved it 2 245

By TheMysteriousTsundere - 03/11/2018 15:30

Today, my dad threw out all my food because a fly landed on a loaf of bread still in its package. He claims the bread and everything else that touched it is "contaminated". That was all the food I had for the rest of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 879

You deserved it 164

Hangover blues

By VibeCheck - 10/03/2020 07:57

Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 1 838

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 147

By uncleaning - 22/07/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 589

You deserved it 4 599

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:38

Is he talking about food or women?

123josie123 11

Sunday 15 January 2012 9:31

The new version of 5second rule??

Comments

fcukU30to1 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:30

Time to buy some green markers...

9R1NC3S5 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:38

Can you say CHEAP!!! Should have thought before you ran your country into debt! Sure…

fogrunner 13

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:54

Works for me! Mold and / or bad smell. :) I think there's more info on this at TrashWiki (dot) com.

loller27 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:55

he must think he's clever

Newzealeb 3

Sunday 15 January 2012 15:45

We normally eat everything before it gets a chance to come within a month of the expiration date :

Sidel 11

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:30

well, the expiration date is just a guideline, just because it's a few days past that doesn't mean it's poisonus... just look and smell at the food and maybe taste it a little before eating it and you should be fine. but maybe you shouldn't wait till there's mold...

dirtraceramerica 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:37

same rule at my house.

Zapzip2013 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 18:09

What about cheese though?

Schiffy 18

Sunday 15 January 2012 19:00

That can work with bread and cheese, but is he saying that the milk has to get moldy before it can be thrown out?

Phluid 5

Sunday 15 January 2012 19:47

He's trying to tell you that his penis is still young.

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The Top

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 380

You deserved it 13 608

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 402

You deserved it 11 952

The Top

Today, I found out I have bed bugs, thanks to my dad having them and not telling me, so my girlfriend got pissed at me, thinking I purposely give them to her, and is sending me a bill to have her house treated for them. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 105

Today, my girlfriend's dad let me borrow his car for transportation to work because mine got totaled. This car is a complete dump and I've realized he's only letting me use it so it's my fault to fix the broken things on the car. So far, I've had to replace the battery and two popped tires. FML

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You deserved it 663

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 270

You deserved it 2 515

Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML

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Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

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You deserved it 58 670

Today, my mom texted me to let me know that my wife and I are no longer allowed to visit her house together, because she doesn’t want it to appear like she’s OK with queer relationships, but she’s OK if we visit one at a time because she still wants to see our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 194