Miscellaneous: Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch...

By Anonymous - 22/08/2014 18:41 - United States - Doylestown

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 117

You deserved it 42 998

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Same thing different taste

Jedi mind trick

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 04:00

Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 266

You deserved it 197

By idonteven - 12/08/2013 20:04 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 029

You deserved it 4 486

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 03:02 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 012

You deserved it 16 507

By stupidprankster - 09/03/2012 10:10 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 7 488

By J - 11/02/2016 15:44 - Malta - Piet?

Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 304

You deserved it 3 294

Shocking

By Anonymous - 02/08/2020 17:01

Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 234

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 068

You deserved it 3 724

Prepper

By suze44 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 237

You deserved it 5 370

By ILiveWithMorons - 12/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 392

You deserved it 3 344

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 724

You deserved it 5 789

Dave_Davington 33

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:24

I want to buy your dad a drink.

myeverydaymylife 21

Saturday 23 August 2014 5:24

And then you take a selfie of you with him in the background, setting you on fire. All about that #selfie

Comments

lilkity5244 6

Sunday 24 August 2014 7:24

I would too

Al3xv3l92 24

Sunday 24 August 2014 7:47

But first let me take a selfie.

Jaevwyn 17

Sunday 24 August 2014 9:50

You got off lightly.

Nish007 15

Sunday 24 August 2014 11:26

the face punch is ok. the setting you on fire is a bit excessive

someguyhere 12

Monday 25 August 2014 22:26

Tell your dad if he needs any help let me know.

phoneaddict13 29

Tuesday 26 August 2014 13:10

**** him hard!!

mrtennis 8

Wednesday 27 August 2014 15:15

oh god how i hate that word.

THEDARKLORDOFALL 17

Friday 29 August 2014 1:26

I agree with him.

mystupidbird_ 5

Friday 29 August 2014 1:38

wait what? I know the word is sometimes annoying but to that point?

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 23 May 2015 14:34

That's excessive.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Love Money Racism Harassment My ex Work Accident Embarrassing Religion AITA Am I overreacting? Health Relatable Gifts Annoying LGBTQIA+ Inappropriate Education Teachers Animals Dogs Relationship advice Cute Cats Transportation Cars Friends Scams

The Top

Today, I found some thigh high socks in my boyfriend's drawer. Furious, I confronted him. He confessed they were his and put them on to show me they fit. I had to dump him, it was just too weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 816

Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 880

You deserved it 1 069

The Top

Today my 98-year-old grandad has Alzheimer’s and seems to think I’m his senior officer from his first years as a police officer. Apparently a lot of illegal shit went on in those days, when cops were bigger crooks than the actual criminals were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 127

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 627

You deserved it 2 978

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 858

You deserved it 65 721

Today, my boss asked me to send an email on his behalf with an important report attached. I've already received 3 responses from directors commenting on poor spelling and factual errors. I get paid 1/4 the salary of my boss and he can't even write properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 779

You deserved it 534

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 992

You deserved it 68 587

Today, after a long day at work, I walked into my room with the lights off and jumped on my bed. At least I would've if I haven't rearranged my room and instead face-planted onto my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 093

You deserved it 4 803

Same thing different taste

Jedi mind trick

Shocking

Prepper

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