Kids: Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly...

By MotherofET - 11/07/2011 04:23 - Australia

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 4 508

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Same thing different taste

So do some adults…

By geonix - 19/05/2021 08:00

Today, I discovered that apparently my six-year-old daughter actually believes that the United States is the only country with advanced technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 435

By Nick - 26/01/2010 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 790

You deserved it 18 118

Mad beliefs

By GodSquad - 26/09/2013 08:06 - United Kingdom - Blackburn

Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 432

You deserved it 8 003

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 15:19 - United States - Decatur

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 655

You deserved it 15 918

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 14:15 - United Kingdom - Saint Austell

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 774

You deserved it 2 879

Absentee

By Superdad - 22/06/2022 06:00

Today, I told my daughter her mom was busy fighting aliens, so I wouldn’t have to tell her that her mom is just a shitty, self-absorbed bitch, who doesn’t deserve kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 1 092

By Uh-oh - 10/11/2009 12:33 - Australia

Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 250

You deserved it 62 579

By orangechicken - 16/04/2012 22:00 - United States - New Hudson

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 869

You deserved it 5 890

By Ange - 15/01/2012 19:34 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 464

You deserved it 5 104

By GMD - 18/09/2012 20:20 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 287

You deserved it 7 207

kut19 6

Monday 11 July 2011 12:06

this is just a shot in the dark, but is your daughter Lady Gaga? cause I would believe her if she was.

IndigoFuckYou 9

Monday 11 July 2011 12:11

Make sure her 'real family' doesn't beam you up and probe your personal parts. D:

Comments

gidgiddonihah 11

Tuesday 12 July 2011 2:32

Accually this is a real scientific hypothysis. There is a miniseries from the History Channel that goes into depth on it. (:

buckie123 3

Tuesday 12 July 2011 4:19

You should feed her a story about you being abducted 25 years ago...fan that fire!

ghostland 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 4:21

doesn't matter anyways.. the world will end in 2012

yaog90 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 5:07

It would never be "okay" even if she's 10, that's just weird...

b00z3nw33d 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 5:14

what a botard.

Starkiller77 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 5:49

ET?

fogrunner 13

Tuesday 12 July 2011 6:22

You may want to Wiki "Panspermia."

mxpklx 12

Tuesday 12 July 2011 7:00

if she's related to any of our countries presidents or founders she probably is.

s_scharf365 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 7:23

we are decents of aliens.... they put us on this planet millions of years ago

TheJosh90 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 7:27

Hows it feel raising a moron?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

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Today, I realized just how bitchy my BFF really is. When my sister said hi to her, she just glared back. She refers to a trans woman as "it" and not her correct pronouns. She just sucks the fun out of everything and makes me feel alone and stuck. I can't abandon her though because we're both each other's only friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 115

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, it took me 5 hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbor's cat running all over the undry paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 783

You deserved it 3 438

Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 028

You deserved it 9 910

Today, a classmate accused me of having butt implants because "women can't have a huge ass and pancake tits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 357

You deserved it 1 662

Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 453

You deserved it 5 306

Today, we attended my daughter’s dance show. When they shut the lights off, my 2 year-old son started to sing “Happy Birthday”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 74

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 7 129

Same thing different taste

So do some adults…

Mad beliefs

Absentee

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