Intimacy: Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex....

By Noname - 06/03/2009 19:04 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 109

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

finitely 0

Friday 6 March 2009 22:45

13?.... damn....

Jeniusjay919 0

Friday 6 March 2009 22:50

omg stop her now before she turns into a raging ****

Comments

ldotforever 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 3:28

wow, i personally dont know anyone who's ever had sex at that age nevermind, someone who would tell their parents about it sucks to be you..

emosk8er 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 6:33

ok here im 12 i found out abut sex at 9 and quite francly shes not dumb she learnead faster than others like i did and quit truely i wanna get laid. i do no kiddin not a joke

emosk8er 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 6:36

gregthestrange 3

Sunday 22 March 2009 15:47

#254, my bad. I take back what I said then, I read what you wrote wrong. I apologize

a_1_S_t_3_a_k 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 17:35

That's pretty disgusting and really doesn't bode well for your parenting skills.

lifegoesonxo 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 18:43

wow, thats unreal.

emosk8er 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 18:57

hey can I have her phone number.

emosk8er 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 19:00

i if she knows about that stuff we got that in common

Supahnova 14

Sunday 22 March 2009 23:21

And you didn't see this coming? [shakes head]

emosk8er 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 23:34

seriously id make a good bf

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 1 035

The Top

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 689

You deserved it 3 763

Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 169

Today, my wife spent a ton of money she took from me for a very expensive lingerie because, "it makes her feel more feminine and beautiful." Again. All this stuff just gathers dust in her drawers, and she keeps wearing the same ugly raggedy underwear for 3-4 days in a row, which is actually disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 130

Today, I ordered pick-up from a restaurant I really like. It was pouring, so instead of taking the long way across the pedestrian walk, I ran through a grass-covered area and tripped on tree roots. I was right in front of the restaurant, so everybody saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 563

You deserved it 1 449

Today, it's my birthday. The only gift I got was a book on the history of cancers. Not the illness, the zodiac sign. I'm a Virgo. I don't even like astrology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 768

You deserved it 1 041

Today, I spent almost 8 hours working on a piece of hand lettering art for a friend. When I sent her a preview, she loved it, but also pointed out that the title was off centre. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 239