Kids: Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not...

By Anonymous - 02/08/2012 14:12 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 490

You deserved it 3 061

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Same thing different taste

Rip off

By sourgirl101 - 04/01/2022 04:59

Today, I learned that my daughter pocketed the money I'd paid so she could go to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 232

It's called fashion, Susan, look it up

By Ari - 08/09/2018 23:30

Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 867

You deserved it 377

By Cogibbt - 03/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, my mom found out that paper is made from trees. She read it on a garbage truck. I then had to explain to her how it's made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 142

Oldest trick in the book

By Anonymous - 22/12/2022 15:00

Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 2 209

By yingyang2 - 06/01/2011 02:19 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 202

You deserved it 5 003

By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 058

You deserved it 5 388

By Oy Vay - 14/11/2016 06:09 - United States - Sparkill

Today, my daughter, whom I consigned a credit card for, told me she was in a bit of financial trouble. It turns out that she was trying to pay off her credit card with the same credit card her bill was for, and couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 903

You deserved it 1 209

Teamwork

By Ash_U - 19/08/2017 16:00

Today, I had to dig through my dog's poop again because I thought I saw a worm, but it was just the remains of the paper towels my husband leaves all over the house. My efforts to make them both stop have obviously fallen on deaf ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 430

You deserved it 356

Pizza party

By Newly Minted Canuck - 22/04/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

By mom - 26/04/2018 15:00

Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 432

You deserved it 613

JustKittyKat 24

Thursday 2 August 2012 19:00

I wonder if Venus fly traps eat children? Who knows? It may make you feel better!

beef25967 2

Thursday 2 August 2012 18:59

Discipline her. Give her a good spanking.

Comments

Neopopulas 9

Friday 3 August 2012 10:51

You still get by check? Like.. an actual paper check? Is this 1990? am i in the past? I have to get to the stockmarket!

ultra_notorious 26

Friday 3 August 2012 13:16

time to start using direct deposit

Life_sucks_13 6

Friday 3 August 2012 13:21

That sucks OP. Does your work allow you to have a direct deposit? Won't have to worry about her ripping anything up anymore.

norisorroz 28

Friday 3 August 2012 14:18

What the h*** was she doing with your paycheck? You totally deserved it.

weatherninja 1

Friday 3 August 2012 15:04

This would be a great reason to enroll in direct deposit. Good luck.

krapula 4

Friday 3 August 2012 18:39

Direct deposit.

chendaddy 1

Friday 3 August 2012 23:31

Feed her to the Venus fly trap.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 4 August 2012 1:44

its called a Venus Fly Trap for a reason...I recommend depositing or cashing your pay check as soon as you get it...

kitsune3 20

Saturday 4 August 2012 6:08

Just how old is your daughter, OP? If she's under 4, I would gently scold her and then leave it be. If 5 or older, she should know better and ought to be spanked.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 5 August 2012 5:52

How old is your daughter? She's either too young to have access to your things or be around a Venus Fly Trap, or too stupid to have access to your things or be around a Venus Fly Trap. Seriously, if she's a little kid, important things should always be kept out of reach. If she's six or so, she should know to read things before just shredding them or throwing them away. Also, why the heck do you have a Venus Fly Trap with a person with a low IQ in the house?