Kids: Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor.... - FML

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 439

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 803

You deserved it 350

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 144

You deserved it 6 497

By WolfieJL - 18/05/2014 07:51 - United States

Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 048

You deserved it 5 455

By Andy - 16/12/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 392

You deserved it 2 752

By deeenalynn - 18/07/2011 16:22 - Canada

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 4 289

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 904

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 04:16 - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 704

You deserved it 4 019

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 363

You deserved it 2 784

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 924

You deserved it 6 674

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 153

You deserved it 2 694

Next

Top comments

endziet 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 16:33

i hate how everyone expects every fml to be drastically life changing. sometiems its fun to just read these little, less serious fml's. i swear you guys wont be happy till someone puts "Today, my son blew his face off with a shotgun" and even then youll say YDI for ******* your kid up in the first place. >.>

PixilatedxMe 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 18:05

I can't deal with puke. If it were me it would have gone like this: Daughter: *Puke* Me: *Pukes, now has two puddles to clean* Daughter: *Pukes on head* (Up to three puddles!) Me: *Pukes on daughter* (Four puddles...) Daughter: *Pukes on head again* (Five puddles...) Me: *Pukes again, goes to clean up puke, and then pukes more*(Probably suicide next...)

Comments

Pastor_Rich 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 4:20

I've haven't laughed so hard in a long time reading these comments... brings back memories of a paticular incident involving projectile vomiting

jane99 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 4:38

Twice? Your fault.

cheapsheep_fml 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 5:22

maybe the girl was a child and wasn't thinking properly to avoid her mothers head. children tend to panic when they're sick. shit happens.

17xVampx17 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 5:29

Rub her nose in it next time

WorkThatButt 2

Wednesday 7 October 2009 7:26

Umm..Take a shower and shut up???..

nodbor 11

Wednesday 7 October 2009 7:56

better, better get a bucket.....

Ross_H 0

Wednesday 7 October 2009 23:51

Kids, eh? Can't live with 'em, and ... nope, that's all I got.

julia07_fml 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 5:34

awwh hope she feels better

hehe_oops 2

Thursday 8 October 2009 10:09

hope she feels better but you really should of seen to her and gotten her a sick bowl before you started cleaning it up

TheRoker 0

Friday 9 October 2009 6:41

****** swine flu lol

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 184

Today, I learned that when you stand up to a bully in a bar, it never ends like it does in the movies, the bully doesn’t get knocked out, and you don’t get the girl. What you get is a trip to hospital, banned from the bar, and the girl goes home with the bully while you lie in the ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 543

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 45 082

You deserved it 3 737

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I agree, your life sucks 25 347

You deserved it 1 735

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I agree, your life sucks 44 243

You deserved it 3 529

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I agree, your life sucks 35 492

You deserved it 8 289

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I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 305

Today, I accidentally sliced open my crush's hand at work while we were messing around on break. A month ago, I broke his brother's finger playing dodgeball. No wonder I'm still single; he must think I'm out to get his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 116

You deserved it 1 340