Kids: Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor.... - FML

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 439

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Same thing different taste

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 803

You deserved it 350

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 144

You deserved it 6 497

By WolfieJL - 18/05/2014 07:51 - United States

Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 048

You deserved it 5 455

By Andy - 16/12/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 392

You deserved it 2 752

By deeenalynn - 18/07/2011 16:22 - Canada

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 4 289

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 904

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 04:16 - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 704

You deserved it 4 019

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 363

You deserved it 2 784

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 924

You deserved it 6 674

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 153

You deserved it 2 694

Next

Top comments

endziet 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 16:33

i hate how everyone expects every fml to be drastically life changing. sometiems its fun to just read these little, less serious fml's. i swear you guys wont be happy till someone puts "Today, my son blew his face off with a shotgun" and even then youll say YDI for ******* your kid up in the first place. >.>

PixilatedxMe 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 18:05

I can't deal with puke. If it were me it would have gone like this: Daughter: *Puke* Me: *Pukes, now has two puddles to clean* Daughter: *Pukes on head* (Up to three puddles!) Me: *Pukes on daughter* (Four puddles...) Daughter: *Pukes on head again* (Five puddles...) Me: *Pukes again, goes to clean up puke, and then pukes more*(Probably suicide next...)

Comments

busdrivertohell 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 4:38

Hardcore parenting.

Invioletlight 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 19:15

YDI. Nobody but yourself to blame for spreading your legs in the first place, dear.

Natacha_fml 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 19:07

You are awfull, #75!

rawrtroy1 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 15:39

#75 yuhr a jackass i hate dhese rude ass commentsz .

poeticvibez07 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:43

I wouldve body slammed her

tchaikovsky93 0

Monday 16 August 2010 16:12

This made me laugh :D Hahahahaha

2010smhill2010 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 8:43

op could have sat her on the couch with a bucket and told her to vomit in the bucket.

hateevryone 14

Sunday 19 June 2011 17:22

ewww you shouldn't have been up under her while she was sick

1two3four5six 23

Monday 11 July 2011 18:23

next time, if ur already cleaning up vomit then tell the tiny bitch to go the bathroom!! god, if this happened to me i would ******* throw her out a window, ik that sounds mean but i absolutely hate vomit and i wouldn't ever clean up somebody's.

T1A2Z3 34

Thursday 15 March 2018 4:40

Please don't have kids. Babies puke all the time. You will be 6 ft deep in vomit if you don't clean it. Babies can't clean.

zumazuma 0

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

your right

YeahCourse 4

Tuesday 1 May 2012 5:52

Haha at least u have a story :)

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 8 May 2012 1:30

Fair enough if your daughter is young, but if she isn't, make her pay.

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I agree, your life sucks 60 225

You deserved it 2 949

Today, I went on a jogging date with a guy I'd been on a couple of dates with. I was a little worried that I wouldn't keep up, but I did and everything was fine. Or at least I thought so. After we'd finished, he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 94

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 712

You deserved it 5 197