Animals: Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because...

By foops - 02/02/2014 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 900

You deserved it 11 622

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By nofunforme - 25/06/2019 12:00 - United States - Candler

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 463

By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 416

You deserved it 1 582

By ohsnap - 22/01/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 840

You deserved it 5 748

Who's a good boy?

By Anonymous - 08/05/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 18:26 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 953

You deserved it 6 207

What was I thinking?

By Anonymous - 28/11/2023 10:00 - United States - Okemos

Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 721

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 678

You deserved it 883

Sixth sense

By fappy dog - 23/01/2014 21:06 - United States - Granite City

Today, and for the past week, my dog has started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 616

You deserved it 11 277

By newlyneurotic - 03/09/2017 07:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I finally got the hearing aids that I've needed for years. My dog quickly learned that if he quietly sneaks up behind me and barks, it'll scare the hell out of me. It's now his favorite game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 089

You deserved it 357

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 07:37 - United States

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 15 034

Enslaved 36

Monday 3 February 2014 2:28

Or they thought it was a pussy purring?

colton_colton 49

Monday 3 February 2014 2:26

Maybe they're trying to tell you something

Comments

fckertwat 2

Monday 3 February 2014 8:58

maybe you shouldn't ********** with your dog in the ******* room!

boostedc 24

Monday 3 February 2014 9:00

Maybe they were jelaous ;)

Lurker1 9

Tuesday 4 February 2014 1:09

Maybe they wanted in on the action..

Turbo_Turtle 14

Monday 3 February 2014 9:49

This was random

brandoneyez1 25

Monday 3 February 2014 11:15

Talk about distractions.

dutchy86 20

Monday 3 February 2014 11:24

Oh OP, I guess that for the dogs and you're self it was a thrilling experience.

beaverteaser 16

Monday 3 February 2014 12:43

does it have a kick start?

ghogghh1234 11

Monday 3 February 2014 12:54

Lol why would you do that with your dogs around??!!!

rockhead1270 5

Monday 3 February 2014 13:35

Duracell. Keeps going and going......

xadoringx 29

Monday 3 February 2014 13:40

Battery operated chew toy lol

Peachy2392 26

Monday 3 February 2014 13:51

I think that sets a funny scene.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I had awesome sex with my ex. Again. I broke up with her a few weeks ago as she admittedly hadn't been attracted to me anymore in a long time. Now she says that after we broke up she doesn't feel any pressure anymore, and can enjoy sex with me again like she did before she moved in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 199

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 972

You deserved it 2 303

The Top

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 793

You deserved it 2 393

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 738

You deserved it 5 346

Today, I was watching TV with my husband and my 5-year-old son. Everything was going fine until my son asked his father, “Why can’t mom know that you have another sweetheart?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 689

You deserved it 1 280

Today, as a joke, my friends and I decided to put me in a dress and makeup, to creep out a friend. I'm a guy. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I so willingly volunteered to wear the dress and the makeup, or the fact that I thought it was comfy and made me look slim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 772

You deserved it 54 386

Today, I turned up to my job interview ready for any question, with impeccable references and previous work experience. Then I saw that one of my interviewers was the lady I accidentally hit with my bicycle last week. She still has stitches in her cheek. No job for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 984

You deserved it 1 149

Today, I was making out with my new boyfriend when he pulled away and looked me deeply in the eyes, he smiled and said, "I don't care what anyone else says, I think you're beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 188

You deserved it 17 998