Sex, Dogs, Awkward and Sextoys: Freakout

Freakout

By nofunforme - 25/06/2019 12:00 - United States - Candler

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 462

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Same thing different taste

By foops - 02/02/2014 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 898

You deserved it 11 621

By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 414

You deserved it 1 582

Bad boy

By dogdays - 10/11/2014 01:12 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, as usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 024

You deserved it 7 230

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 850

You deserved it 238

By ohsnap - 22/01/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 838

You deserved it 5 748

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 159

You deserved it 5 701

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 277

You deserved it 9 704

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 14:53 - United States - Middleton

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 922

You deserved it 3 366

By trainE - 30/03/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 345

You deserved it 94 591

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 293

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 26 June 2019 2:26

What a buzzkill.

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 26 June 2019 6:12

Umm why was the dog in the room with you, kick it out shut the door and lock it, but ya that is still hilarious.

Comments

what 1

Tuesday 25 June 2019 18:20

Can’t blame him for being weary of foreign invaders...btw that’s freaking hilarious

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 26 June 2019 2:26

What a buzzkill.

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 26 June 2019 6:12

Umm why was the dog in the room with you, kick it out shut the door and lock it, but ya that is still hilarious.

warmonger711 8

Thursday 27 June 2019 8:06

The dog wants a turn.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 30 June 2019 2:16

Talk about bad vibes!

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 124

You deserved it 40 856

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

The Top

Today, I was working at our garage sale with my dad. I sat outside for 2 hours, talked to three people, and sold nothing. My dad came outside and got angry at me, so I told him to give it a shot. He sold 3 things to the first guy who walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 051

You deserved it 1 038

Today, my sister told my mother how she saw our neighbour's son at the movies with a girl and that they were kissing. My mother said that any girl willing to date someone so ugly must have self esteem issues and they laughed. I'm his girlfriend, my sister didn't recognize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 007

You deserved it 4 782

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 231

You deserved it 2 351

Today, I finished writing a 60-page essay on the history and people of Australia. Turns out it's supposed to be on Austria. It's due this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 1 497

Today, I took a trip to Wal-Mart. There's a car wash that they conveniently built right outside of this Wal-Mart. So as I was leaving, I decided to make use of this car wash, not even thinking about the $200 worth of groceries I had just purchased. I drive a pick-up truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 757

You deserved it 68 639

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick me up from work. We work at the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 130

You deserved it 419