By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 08:51 - United Kingdom - Bargoed

Today, my ex came out as transgender. I had absolutely no problem with this, in fact I celebrated her bravery. What I did have a problem with was all my friends immediately assuming that this was the reason I broke up with her, and not that she'd cheated on me for 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 310
You deserved it 1 900
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Top comments

WitEluded 13

Both are completely valid reasons. Don't care if this gets down votes or mooed at, but if you are attracted to girls and the one you are with decides to no longer be one, you have every right to say good bye.

535 27
paginis 8

In all fairness, breaking up with somebody because they were trans and you didn't know about it is a pretty reasonable thing to do.

333 13

Comments

CaroLouWho 10

Guys, I don't think coming out as transgender really means you were "lying" about your gender. First of all, the ex might not have even known she was transgender for a while or have completely reconciled it in her mind. It took me a damn long time to realize I was bi, for example, but that doesn't mean I was "lying" when I said I was straight (except maybe to myself). I really did assume I was straight. And even if the ex knew for a while that she was trans but didn't come out, it wasn't so much blatant dishonesty to "fake a relationship" as it was not being comfortable saying that the person everyone excepted her to be wasn't who she really is and that she's actually something a lot of people don't accept. (I'm not out to many people, and the idea of coming out is TERRIFYING.)

15 7
Rohawk 4

Yeah, it's gross to see a lot of this comment section playing on the "trans person traps straight person by pretending to be cisgender" stereotype. There's a difference between recognizing that you might have to gently break up with someone who realizes they're a gender that you're not attracted to and blaming them for "deceiving" you. Sorry your ex is a piece of shit btw, OP.

8 6
smallandroid 26

Coming out is extremely terrifying. I realized I wasn't a girl when I was dating a guy in high school who had homophobia tendencies, and I was so afraid of coming out and him finding out that I waited until after we had broken up and moved away from each other in college. Even though I'm out now to my family and close friends, and I am physically transitioning, I still haven't told that old ex, because I'm afraid of the horrible things he will probably say to me, and what he could do to me if I saw him in person. Hell, I haven't come out to almost everyone from high school for the same reasons. So many people don't get it, they think trans people are just people who want to "become the opposite gender" or "want to change genders" and in so many situations it just isn't safe.

12 3
Mynamewontfi 40

#55 Your comment is spot on. Coming out takes time and courage, because you never know how others might react. It took me pretty long to figure out that I was trans, I knew something was wrong when I was a kid and into my teens, but didn't know exactly what it was until I was about 15. And even then I didn't come out until I was about 19/20 years old. Before I came out as a transman, I tried my hardest to fit into my genderrole as a female, and failing miserably. It's not about lying to others, but more about lying to yourself.

6 2
BuckNekkid 22

it doesn't matter anymore. just move along

2 2
dangousity 21

Was "she" Asian... You really must suck with "Real" women. Also, sounds like you like dudes.

0 0
TeacherTeacher 11

I divorced my husband after she came out transgender because she was an unsupportive mooch living off me. It was awkward for a while, but eventually our friends remembered I always seemed to be at work earning our living and she always had time to hang out. Give your friends time to get over their knee-jerk PC reaction.

11 1
Tegz0rz 12

I hope she has the decency to dispel that rumour.

3 1
SuperMew 22

It is absolutely valid to break up with someone for being transgender. It sucks. It likely would hurt, even if that was the only reason you did end the relationship. I would tell them, "I broke up with him because he cheated on me for 6 months. I didn't know Ex was transgender until he came out. But if that had happened while we were together, I probably would have ended the relationship because I am straight."

6 4
littleunicorn_fml 7

Tbh I don't get it Why would they get mad over the fact that he broke up with a person who is transgender? If your straight and a guy you wouldn't date a person who is transgender from a girl to a dude

4 3
DoomedGemini 37

Because, while acceptance and empathy are GREAT to see, some people take it too far and see lbgt people as unable to do wrong or always the victim. There are a lot of attacks, of course, but the thing is we are people. There will be terrible people along with good. Hopefully once it becomes more accepted people will realize that.

2 0
worldclassrager 39

Good for her...but if she just came out why would that make sense that you ended it for that reason?

1 0
Seabass_Chan 33

OP's friends may have assumed that they already knew/found out and broke it off out of spite, then they both lied about the cheating to cover it up?

0 0
Mynxie 26

I'm sorry you had to deal with friends who got the wrong assumption. I would state the story straight.

1 0