Intimacy: Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me... - FML

By gtfoocd - 27/12/2011 15:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 833

You deserved it 7 289

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 21:23 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 141

You deserved it 9 047

By anonymous - 29/07/2012 13:34 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Spicy

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 464

You deserved it 4 896

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 13:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 113

You deserved it 14 009

Law and order

By Anonymous - 28/08/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 329

You deserved it 3 284

By anonymous - 14/05/2012 10:31 - United States - Havelock

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 665

You deserved it 6 421

Turn me on

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Meriden

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 242

You deserved it 2 952

Bored

By Anonymous - 05/12/2022 14:00

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 502

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 06:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 341

You deserved it 16 364

By vicgal - 14/08/2009 18:33 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 051

You deserved it 10 690

By Dead_Fox - 21/11/2012 05:48 - United States - Jonesboro

Spicy

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 876

You deserved it 3 889

Next

Top comments

MikeDa1Da 14

Tuesday 27 December 2011 18:55

Hopefully your penis is properly symmetrical.

heythereyouu_fml 4

Tuesday 27 December 2011 18:54

Well then, make it "properly symmetrical".(:

Comments

Katzia 0

Tuesday 27 December 2011 21:47

Well, it's unfortunate but you should know these things by now.

RussianBabe 1

Tuesday 27 December 2011 21:49

wow some people are mean ... just because she is ocd, doesn't mean he has to dump her , if he really wants to be with her, he can make his room the way she needs it to be!

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 27 December 2011 22:00

Your girlfriend is such a square. |the kid|

SuperBritty23 7

Tuesday 27 December 2011 22:10

That's just a nice way of telling you that she doesn't want sex.

kareltje 17

Tuesday 27 December 2011 22:30

You know she's got OCD... Your own fault then. Gotta give some to get some. It's a two-way street, buddy. You need to work on your communication ;)

fwoodgirl12 0

Tuesday 27 December 2011 22:55

Hahahahahaha!! I'm sorry but you have to admitt, that's pretty funny lol :P

gar2014 23

Sunday 5 February 2017 3:31

dump her like third period spanish

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The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 738

You deserved it 3 230

Today, I toured an art museum. Our tour guide had an obvious lisp, so I tried my best not to laugh. When she asked me a question about a sculpture, I accidentally replied, "Yeth ma'am." She ended the tour right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 567

You deserved it 68 936

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 575

You deserved it 1 950

Today, after enduring years in a sexless marriage, I asked my wife if she will make love to me ever again, to which she replied, "Probably not." Half an hour later she's talking about us going on a trip to Egypt next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 253

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 522

You deserved it 13 279

Today, my bike is freshly back from a costly repair, so naturally this means that the slight rasping of the chain that used to bug me has now turned into a situation where one third of the gears can only be used with the aid of a screw driver, which I now carry with me on every ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 150