Miscellaneous: Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the...

By fatty - 03/08/2010 22:37 - United States

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 163

You deserved it 7 427

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Person15 - 26/11/2011 23:13 - United States

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 382

You deserved it 10 485

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 068

You deserved it 3 117

By faceless_sailor8 - 31/08/2011 16:25 - United States

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 686

You deserved it 5 733

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 321

You deserved it 49 600

By warp_routine - 31/03/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 969

You deserved it 13 911

By hakuna matata - 31/10/2012 10:06 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 018

You deserved it 3 625

By Anonymous - 17/01/2014 23:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 043

You deserved it 6 795

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 231

You deserved it 2 180

By queenmeme - 08/10/2014 06:02 - United States - Redlands

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 371

You deserved it 3 737

Animated movies

By Penny - 18/01/2020 20:00

Today, at work, I was discussing animated movies with a male senior who's got kids. I was trying to refer to Zootopia but couldn't remember the name. I went, "Zoo, zoo... filia?" Silence. It wasn't until I got home an hour later that I realized what I said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 477

MarkerofMagic 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 2:12

haha mean sister but good movie.

FailVader 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 2:13

you shoulda said, " if you talked less, maybe YOU would get a date."

Comments

RavenIsTheSex 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 7:37

Pwn'd! D:

lacesoutdavid 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 7:43

Roses are red, violets are blue,

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 4 August 2010 7:46

#359 ...Oh, the suspense!

lacesoutdavid 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 7:45

Roses are red, violets are blue, I digg the chunky, but fyl too.

lacesoutdavid 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 7:45

Roses are red, violets are blue, I digg the chunky, but fyl too.

mR_StAtiiC 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 7:51

Ydi for being fat and talking about it on a website instead of doing something about it. :)

unmadebed 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 8:15

meh chubbies are cute=]

nuggetFAIL 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 8:16

ydi for ******* ur brother's sister xD

ironmaiden77 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 8:27

lol

Massdebater 1

Wednesday 4 August 2010 8:39

hahaha I love how unamused your cat looks there.. he's like "argh! WTF! I was sleeping then" and you're all like "aww I love you look at the camera".. that is funny to me.. good pic!! =]