Animals: Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with...

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 807

You deserved it 7 555

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Same thing different taste

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 317

You deserved it 15 396

By The_HML - 24/03/2009 02:48 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 983

You deserved it 11 162

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 999

You deserved it 11 772

By wayne - 07/12/2011 10:28 - New Zealand

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 711

You deserved it 3 555

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 795

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 622

By Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 930

By michellekel - 04/07/2009 12:10 - France

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 615

You deserved it 6 965

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 107

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 18 089

Mico3587 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:02

lol dolphins

Spinach 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:04

Nice. Dolphins enjoy a good joke like the rest of us.

Comments

Jaywin 3

Friday 17 April 2009 20:15

#6 is right. Dolphins attack and kill things basically for ***** n' giggles. They're also one of the only animals besides humans to have sex for pleasure. Basically, dolphins have minds similar to humans and as a result, can be real ******* assholes.

irokyoursox 6

Sunday 29 May 2011 8:34

also they have to take every breath consciously. so when they're in captivity they become depressed and stressed from all the noise an commit suicide by holding their breath.

omglolydi 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:16

They smell fear.

Big_Blue_Sumthin 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:17

I guess it wasn't Flipper.

x_eyebrows 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:20

Aww, it only bit you because it could tell you were afraid, and an afraid animal (yourself) is likely to attack. Or it could have been for ***** 'n' giggles. :) Either way that's pretty damn hilarious!!

kwbuzz23wk 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:27

who on earth is afraid of dolphins?

sawfanatic 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:31

Yeah #15, couldn't agree with you more. Dolphins are harmless, if you don't fear them. :P

zbots 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:31

#12 - lol that's what I was going to say. OP - stop being a pussy. YDI.

Ohnoitslindsay 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:31

They are the second most intelligent creatures on Earth.

Venezia_fml 0

Friday 6 August 2010 8:27

The first most certainly not being humans.

im4evaonyomind 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:33

Of all the things in the ocean, it's the dolphins you're afraid of? It's the sting rays you gotta look out for, ha ha ha..........it's not too soon is it?

ohhhhshizzz 0

Friday 17 April 2009 20:35

#5: you are a little late on the first train aren't you? I love dolphins they are so cute. And yeah they do smell fear. Most animals & people can tell when someone is afraid. Sucks to be you.