By fuck you, gran - 09/03/2013 00:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
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You deserved it 4 089
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Top comments

djgoreo 12

"**** you gran"? For what exactly do you intend to use your first birthday condom, sir?

102 3

Comments

sig4life 18

Grandma 1, you 0 + a full pack of condoms.

28 4
perdix 29

Well, maybe if you talked to her, she'd get you something you could use, like hand lotion, a Real Doll or a gift card to the local whorehouse.

33 5
RissaLea 8

That's what I was thinking, might as well pay for something useful. Maybe he's grandma will even give him tips on how to pick up a women to use them in the future.

1 2
yeti37 16

I can get a gift card to Ho Depot? Awesome! My birthday is coming up.

9 1
perdix 29

#42, you can get a gift card for either of the Big Box stores (provided you like big boxes -- I prefer them tight, but to each his own), Ho Depot or Blowes.

6 1
krazykyra 12

I wish my grandmother joked with me like that. She's a stereotypical baptist prude. Be thankful for your grandmother's sense of humor!

18 3
PipingMouse 14

Well you could always be creative (think water balloons)! Or you could just re-gift them with all the other gifts you don't use.

10 0
ohSNAPyall 26

UGH. Most condoms are lubricated. Please don't make lubey water balloons.

2 2
hotPinklipstick 24

Fun fact: condoms can hold up to a gallon or more of water, and can also be used to make a fire. OP, just think about it as your gran giving you the gift of survival if you ever get stranded or encounter a zombie apocalypse. Or you can use to the conventional way and actually have sex for once.

3 0
hotPinklipstick 24

Use them* Damn it. Sorry guys and girls, I didn't get to edit it in time.

2 0
Crystal55621 19

Hide all the condoms and give her the empty box while smiling.

2 0
lochiamochia 25

Ahhh... Condoms...... The fabric of our lives.

4 0
dwc2134 5

Your grandmother sounds awesome to me. Dude, she gave you condoms for your birthday, who the **** cares what she said?

7 1
noelasis94 18

Well isn't that special? A moment every grand kid should share with grandma how would the hall mark read?

1 1