Health: Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He...

By Anonymous - 08/01/2012 06:23 - United States

Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 2 649

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Same thing different taste

By Lukey1028 - 14/07/2015 01:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 341

You deserved it 3 459

By Anna - 02/07/2009 13:31 - United States

Today, I called back a number I recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was the number of my boyfriend's fiancé. I've been with him 4 years, he's been with her for 6. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 130

You deserved it 4 974

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 20:52 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 929

You deserved it 4 019

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 00:02 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 137

You deserved it 3 850

By that one anon - 07/05/2015 06:27 - United States - San Diego

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 956

You deserved it 2 555

By Xbieblette51 - 19/08/2014 22:30 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 843

You deserved it 6 953

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 6 428

Emergency

By BigMouth McRedface - 14/05/2010 02:11 - United States

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 822

You deserved it 33 957

By Anonymous - 17/08/2018 14:30

Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 222

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

imustbeinsane 2

Sunday 8 January 2012 12:27

Ask him who the little girl that called from his number the first time was

DocBastard 38

Sunday 8 January 2012 12:29

Tell him it was your parole officer. He'll be so glad you aren't cheating that he's bound to just forget the whole thing.

Comments

majorasshole 4

Sunday 8 January 2012 23:13

Your marriage is going to work out well.

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 8 January 2012 23:46

Herp derp.

l0v3p4in 7

Monday 9 January 2012 1:08

Best thing about being sick? Deep manly voice FTW. :)

MikeyFilth13 0

Monday 9 January 2012 1:33

maybe you should take better care of yourself

xxmusicroxxx 0

Monday 9 January 2012 2:42

Hahahahhahahahahah

Nema_fml 0

Monday 9 January 2012 3:20

Happens to me all the time

snuffy94 5

Monday 9 January 2012 3:42

I get bronchitis like every year!!!! I hate it!

thefmlman2011 36

Friday 24 April 2015 11:21

ain't nobody got time for that

kenzy960817 5

Monday 9 January 2012 4:31

deep, manly voices are best pony

mpclaw 3

Monday 9 January 2012 5:51

Run from this jerk. Now!

SlaveToRetail 10

Monday 9 January 2012 8:01

Bronchitis is a bitch. I remember I had to work the day after I was diagnosed and customers kept giving me weird looks because I sounded like a prepubescent man. Miserable thing. Feel better, OP. Hope your paranoid fiance got over it.