Miscellaneous: Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots"...

FML for mobile
Free

By Hoggiebear - 05/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 396

You deserved it 5 371

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 14:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 803

You deserved it 2 848

By BYUwildchild - 17/12/2010 16:23 - United States

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 959

You deserved it 3 534

By GeneralElement - 19/02/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 929

You deserved it 3 668

Content warning

By imblue42 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 592

You deserved it 3 791

Subconscious

By doodler - 27/02/2014 11:59 - United States - Hurst

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 112

You deserved it 13 517

By balletteacher - 08/09/2012 20:32 - United States

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 245

You deserved it 2 585

By mafiaguy800 - 27/08/2019 14:00

Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 153

Clean up

By Anonymous - 19/01/2024 03:00 - United States - Cary

Today, I realized that my lack of body hygiene reached a new high when I discovered a pimple growing on my penis, which I now know is genital acne. It hurts to sit down or touch my penis in any way. The worst part is that I am only thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 789

By Anonymous - 14/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 254

You deserved it 6 777

Spotted

By Bec99 - 19/04/2020 17:00

Today, the pimples on my face are finally clearing up. They seem to have migrated to my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 142

cudi504 4

Wednesday 5 October 2011 22:06

How did you let them figure that out?

Sub_Zero_is_God 13

Wednesday 5 October 2011 22:08

at least you have a big dick.

Comments

staymintyfresh 13

Thursday 6 October 2011 0:57

Ha no, not everyone gets back acne...

Velocity98 2

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:03

Looks like u have bacne no its not misspelled

varkey 7

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:16

That's funny, but what I want to know is how they figured that out. FYL

Bluemonster3 26

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:20

I've drawn a horsie

Enigmax2514 7

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:20

U guys sure it ain't just ye dirty minds?

obamathellama 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:27

You don't like having a large penis?

lashanafaye 10

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:42

Epic.

GETxAxLIFE 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:46

And just how big is the dick?

PanickFace 2

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:56

Well... At least when you tell the ladies you have a huge penis, it will techinically be true... :)

hannahcorrine 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 1:58

You have a gift, sir.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Zoom Job interview Work Money Capitalism My ex Mental health Parents Kids Weird Video games Gamers Music Transportation Cars Friends Racism Cute Relatable Death Divorce AITA Client relations Cops Cheating Renters Love

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 70

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 108

You deserved it 3 393

The Top

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As I bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spat a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 8 430

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 951

You deserved it 9 696

Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 541

You deserved it 4 514

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 616

You deserved it 71 129

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 894

You deserved it 36 613

Today, my brother told me to, "Stop bitching and get over it" after I complained of pain from my stomach after invasive surgery. This from the guy who spends multiple hours a day playing Halo and whining about the stupid ways he got killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 812

You deserved it 2 083