Health: Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night,... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 704

You deserved it 13 782

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 411

By creamed - 20/02/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 070

You deserved it 36 846

By haappynewyear - 01/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 000

You deserved it 6 096

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 857

You deserved it 55 526

By Blondie - 05/05/2011 20:01 - Lebanon

Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 31 655

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 308

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 171

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 36 078

By FailedEngineer - 20/10/2009 21:31 - Australia

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 272

You deserved it 35 660

You played yourself

By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 68 674

Next

Top comments

BananaCoconutty 26

Monday 27 July 2015 0:01

You should have "knocked" out the door

milehigh52 22

Monday 27 July 2015 0:03

You took that “I ran into a door" excuse a little too far.

Comments

tehdarkness 21

Monday 27 July 2015 0:17

I feel lucky that in the days of my shenanigans, there wasn't always someone there to record. Back then if you couldn't remember it, it didn't happen.

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 27 July 2015 0:33

What a knob.

chaseafterwind82 29

Monday 27 July 2015 0:36

After fighting the door did you then break down sobbing, and tearfully apologise to it?

hasooon 24

Monday 27 July 2015 0:43

Youtube link, or it didn't happen.

EcoAirWarrior 7

Monday 27 July 2015 0:46

It's amusing how individuals repeatedly regretfully recall misdemeanours or humiliating acts committed while intoxicated by alcohol yet go on to again consume excessive amounts of alcohol and humiliate themselves again.Its very amusing at least for those who dont dridrink alcohol like yours truly

worldclassrager 39

Monday 27 July 2015 1:07

Door 1 OP 0

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Monday 27 July 2015 1:16

You're such a door-k.

DerekDayOne 12

Monday 27 July 2015 1:36

Video?

savagetitan 13

Monday 27 July 2015 1:41

The door slammed you shut.

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 27 July 2015 2:05

Sounds like the door busted him wide open.

LazyLion 12

Monday 27 July 2015 2:48

Rematch?

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Today, I lost all hope on making my project high quality because of my partner's incompetence. My partner, AKA the company president. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 396

You deserved it 2 532

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 316

You deserved it 4 358

You can do it!

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 72

Today, I found out one of my "friends" is “scared” to talk to me because I’m black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 124

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 182

You deserved it 3 543

Today, I was so sleep deprived that when a customer held their hand out to get their receipt, I slapped it without thinking about it. Great way to start 2024. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 328