Miscellaneous: Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break...

By melonhead - 14/01/2010 08:46 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 889

You deserved it 3 726

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By desertpunk75 - 19/01/2011 03:40 - United States

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 843

You deserved it 3 169

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 395

You deserved it 66 459

By joe1234 - 17/07/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 855

You deserved it 9 730

By Anonymous - 30/07/2012 06:41 - United States - Centralia

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 367

You deserved it 1 981

By Anonymous - 19/07/2012 04:55 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 852

You deserved it 80 965

Baby don't hurt me...

By whatislife1969 - 08/09/2017 10:00

Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 605

You deserved it 269

By What the fuck, son? - 11/05/2013 16:21 - Netherlands - Amerongen

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 428

You deserved it 7 846

By Nothingonyou - 08/09/2010 07:35 - France

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 195

You deserved it 3 333

By Anonymous - 03/10/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 623

You deserved it 6 336

By meh beard - 18/01/2016 23:42 - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 535

You deserved it 1 599

passwordis_fml 2

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:04

you have awesome friends

WONDERWB 2

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:08

The visual is quite amusing.

Comments

artfreak21 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:34

Did you pass out with your shoes on?

TrijonVirus 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:43

crack a bowling ball on his head now wen he is sleeping! see how funny he think it is having shit smashd on ur head wen u aslp.... dammit a niga needs his rest!!

Xupz_fml 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:46

Oh god. Is the watermelon ok?

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:51

This wasn't all that funny when Gallagher smashed watermelons back in the 1980s. Why would your friends think it would be funny now?

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 18:24

If Gallagher wasn't funny you just weren't baked enough.

onlinegamer23 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 16:56

dude that is ingenius (im dislectic) i wich my friends were as awesome

Cowless 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 17:14

Man friendships never cease to amaze me. They're potentially disastrous and yet there they are...

spank_u_veryhard 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 17:17

they're right, that is funny! How does it feel to be just like gallagher?

jujubee01 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 17:26

did it work?

rhodium 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 17:33

Please tell me they recorded it and posted it on YouTube.

GruntOfAction 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 17:34

I checked Youtube. Nothing yet sadly. But my hopes are high for watermelons crashing against some poor person's head.

ridiculous_gnome 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 17:43

How's your concussion?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 3 951

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 208

The Top

Today I woke up feeling good and ready for my online business class final, only to find that it had somehow been submitted and graded with a zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 139

Today, my husband is adamant he's not a cheater, because, "it only counts as cheating if you have sex with other women for free." Apparently 20-year-old male prostitutes don't count because they're not women and they cost money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 024

You deserved it 228

Today, I fulfilled my lifelong dream of going on a family trip to Disneyland. Less than two hours in the park, my kids have been scared shitless by every single character, they don’t want to ride any rides, my husband is drunk, and the mouse ears headband gave me a vomit-inducing migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 150

You deserved it 361

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 574

You deserved it 16 446

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 717

You deserved it 14 860

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 594

You deserved it 8 897

Same thing different taste

Baby don't hurt me...

Top comments

Comments