Animals: Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a... - FML

By whykarma - 26/03/2013 21:17 - United States - Waxhaw

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 924

You deserved it 3 497

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 459

You deserved it 2 485

By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 363

You deserved it 2 657

By mykhael - 21/08/2013 18:58 - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 126

You deserved it 7 476

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 277

You deserved it 9 703

By stupiddog - 15/04/2014 12:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 373

You deserved it 5 280

Windy day

By Tree - 21/03/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 135

Who's a good boy?

By Anonymous - 08/05/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 399

You deserved it 225

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 1 240

By trgtyo - 18/05/2009 23:20 - United States

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 710

You deserved it 3 618

By panda - 03/03/2011 11:20

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 262

You deserved it 6 287

Next

Top comments

error404n0tf0und 21

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:03

keep him away from your pet rock!!

DrJesse 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:07

At least you know if that Travelocity bastard tries to kill you,your dog will **** his work up.

Comments

spazz666 18

Wednesday 27 March 2013 13:02

How the hell is this an fml? Unless the rock sued you, I don't really see why this matters even a little.

ashii_92 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 13:02

Count your blessings, my shepherd would probably still just lie there and lick it...

perdix 29

Wednesday 27 March 2013 13:04

Fortunately, the rock can't sue you. Uh-oh, I think I just gave some sleazy Geological Injury lawyer an idea. . .

MorganBrown 8

Wednesday 27 March 2013 13:51

Hehe that made me giggle(: My dog would do that to buckets lol

Coeliacchic93 21

Wednesday 27 March 2013 15:00

It's super effective against the rock-type :D

SirWTF 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 16:04

Could be that the rock was one of the gateways to the netherworld, and the only thing that was stopping the demons from invading was your dog barking at them.

Acceleratedkill 3

Wednesday 27 March 2013 17:41

Bad rock! this is my territory! I marked it! Stay back!

onorexveritas 23

Wednesday 27 March 2013 17:52

did you drop him as a puppy? lol

hugepenises 1

Wednesday 27 March 2013 19:42

At least your German Sheppard barks/attacks...anything. Mine doesn't, at all. Some guard dog....

dramaelf 37

Wednesday 27 March 2013 22:37

My dog tried to chase plane. While it was flying. In the sky. What I'm saying is, it could be worse.

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The Top

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. They shouted "Surprise!" as I walked into the room. In pure shock, I dropped the groceries I was holding, including a bottle of wine, which shattered. I spent the first 10 or so minutes of my party cleaning red wine and glass off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 89

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 105

You deserved it 28 396

The Top

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 319

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 358

You deserved it 4 221

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 362

You deserved it 29 678

Today, I was helping my uncle clean his house. He's a bit of a hoarder, so I suggested donating some of his pots. We got into a fight and I left. He then called my mom to claim that I stole his pots. After being yelled at he realized that they were in his dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 895

You deserved it 168

Today, my neighbor said hello to me and we chatted a bit. I had my hand in my pocket, fidgeting with my phone as she yammered on. Suddenly, after pressing random buttons, the shutter on my camera went off. A loud KKCCCHHCHHH came from my pocket. She paused and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 979

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. He wants to introduce our girlfriend to our kids and make her a part of our everyday family life. When we started this, I was under the impression that it was just a sex thing, and wouldn’t leave our bedroom. He wants to make her his second wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 4 603